Air of spring

2010-04-22T23:55:00.000+08:00

I am happy and abandoning my blogger.

IS IT A SHOCK TO YOU GUYS?! Hiakhiak. Have fun digesting the shock. I am sorrrrry. Byebye. I may or may not be back. :)

♥

Moving on is tough, but so is holding on to something that may never be.

2010-04-13T23:44:00.002+08:00

You can feel when someone you hold close to your heart is slipping away, little by little. It’s when the mere thought of losing a friend can bring you to tears almost instantly. The pain you are beginning to feel can crush your entire heart. Yet everything that you try to do to solve the problems only push them further and further away from you. When the only chance of getting back to the way things were in the beginning is to hope this person realized what they may be losing.

Times are hard when things have got no meaning.

2010-04-12T23:53:00.005+08:00

I had a great school day, an average afternoon, tiresome evening and stressful night. It's going downhill and obviously, I'm not in a blithe mood now.

I am feeling endlessly confused, down and stressed. I can't find words to describe myself now. I don't know what's my point in blogging this out but, I guess it's a way out for me.

Ik ben van mening dat ik naar het comfort van mijn bed opnieuw vanavond zal streven. Naar mijn mening, deed ik geen verkeerd. Zo waarom bent u boos plotseling met me? Door uw plotselinge actie, door uw plotselinge uitbarsting van emotie, voel ik werkelijk hulpeloos. Ik kan niet om het even wat, nog enkel hier zitten en emotioneel voelen zelf doen. Ik voel scheuren die omhoog in mijn ogen nu welling. Ik veronderstel ik zou moeten gaan. Tot ziens.

Alright, enough of my nonsense.
Goodbye goodnight. bonne nuit au revoir, 사랑해요.

2010-04-11T22:48:00.002+08:00

I know eventually my feelings will fade out, that I'll forget about how special you were, or how special you made me feel. Eventually, time will change, or I'll just get use to it changing, and my thoughts of you will drop. You'll cross my mind and then you won't, I'll get the urge to call you, then I won't, I'll find myself wishing you were here, then I won't. It's just a phase, and I've come to accept that that's all I ever was for you too, just a phase for you to get through. I wasn't a life changing experience, I never changed you for the better, and I never will, but I've accepted that that girl was never going to be me, and whether I'm fine with that has yet to be seen, I'm just happy I can be a better type of change for someone who truly does deserve me.

Still away.

Lil update:
I had a great laughing fest 2day. :)
And, _l_ YOU BACK.

2010-04-11T01:32:00.003+08:00

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
-To a certain hypocrital group, both lettuce and I knows who.

I'm still partially away, don't feel like blogging yet.
So TTFN! Hopefully you'll see me back, alive and kicking!

Break.

2010-04-08T22:19:00.005+08:00

I think I need a short break from blogger, I don't know why, I just feel so.
Sooooo. I may stop blogging for a few days. Still updating my twitter though.

Seeeee yoooooouuuu ssssoooooonnnnn bbbbllllooooogggggeeeeerrrrr!

What you are to me, nothing can summarize and no words can define.

Eyes are red and tears are shed.

2010-04-08T00:29:00.003+08:00

Slept for half of the day. Hopefully I get a decent grade for Geog. Camp instructors came to school today ^^. After school, homed, meet Charlotte, Ian's house, 121-605, hsh.
Terribly summarized, I don't know why I'm blogging too. Tmr I need wake up early cause it's the.... super belated cutcake session for my sister. Wooooooooooooooo. Oky. Baibai. :(

Anyway tmoz MBS's SYF. Idk the details so I won't be attending. But I sure hope they'll get GWH again! :)

Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.

Things change. Friends leave. And life doesn't stop for anybody.

2010-04-06T18:09:00.004+08:00

Yesterday:
School was hot and somewhat boring as usual. Slept during Geog cuz it was seriously boring me. Practical for Chem, Pythagora's theorm for Maths, though I did it last year. And Debate on underaged sex during English. LOL.

After school, went home to bathe and change, met Kenneth at Eunos station platform. Trained to Lavender intending to register my IC, but I forgot to bring birth cert. So trained to Cityhall instead, went to Funan(?) to send his iTouch for repair. He trained home for mj while I headed to tampmall to meet Christopher, Darryl, Bryan and Ian. Walked around and finally Aaron & Willard came.

Went to catch the 7.10pm show for Clash of the Titans. Mac and homed after that. :)

Today:
Left house early, as I thought sch started at 7.45am tday. But actually 8.15am. Reached mama early, waited for the rest to come. After huhu, met Vanessa at the opp busstop. And chanced upon Shenying. Went to tamp, got my ic photo done. Eastlink for their breakfast, then went back to school at 11am. Result of bright idea= Mr Yew super gxl + internal suspension + phone taken away tday. :(

Sad case uh. Counselling for awhile before heading down to atrium. Read and slept. After sch, stars room for cwo. Scraping off dried paint, etc. Went down to ICA with Pw, hsh after that.

And today's my sister's (piz above) birthday. So happy birthday! :)

It’s amazing the things you realize when you lose someone. You get mad at yourself for not saying the things you could have said a million times. You take for granted the days you spent doing nothing when you could have been with them. Anyone can be taken, at any point in our lives, but we always wait until they’re gone to say the things we never had the courage to say.

Smile bigger. Laugh harder. Love too much.

2010-04-04T23:20:00.003+08:00

I went to Aaron's on the 2nd, in the middle of the night. Watched Malibu Shark Attack and the starting of The Mummy, and fell asleep. Slept until mid-afternoon, woke up, left around 7plus pm. Went home to bathe and change, came out again and to Kenneth's. Watched them mj and I was bored ttm and luckily Willyk daddy came over and entertained me. Watched I not stupid 2 on tv, followed by The Maid. Weixin went home and Terence & Francis left around 4am. I wento sleep and woke up 2day at around 7pm. :$ Bussed to mosque and met Benedict, bussed to Willard's. Ate my "breakfast" and hung around. Went up to Willard's and used comp. 10+, cabbed back with Benbennnn! ^^

Wait for the boy who will make an ordinary moment seem magical, the kind of boy who brings out the best in you and makes you want to be a better person. Wait for the boy who will be your best friend, and who will drop everything to be with you at any time no matter what the circumstances. Wait for the boy who makes you smile like no one else, and when he smiles, you know he needs you. Wait for the boy who wants to show you off to the world even when you’re in sweats and have no make-up on, but appreciates it when you get dolled up for him. And most of all wait for the boy who will put you at the center of his universe, because that’s where you belong.

With every ache, I lose my faith, with every bruise, I step away.

2010-04-02T21:32:00.002+08:00

Currently at Keneth's house and he, Terence, Willy and Francis r mj-ing. Yawnz.

Slept for about 11hours last nighty. Woke up @ approximately 2pm. Got ready and left house at 3+pm. Met Kenneth and cabbed to East coast. Watch them play the ufo thing, and around 5 went to the chalet. Basically i rotted >: Left around 8+ and cabbed to Kenneth's house. His comp died on him so now using the lapppppy. Hehe. Ok baiiiii.

I want to be the girl who he thinks is the cutest. Not necessarily the “hottest” or the “prettiest”, but the cutest. Because hotness refers to the body, and god knows mine isn’t perfect. Pretty refers to the face and I know plenty of girls prettier than me. But cuteness is referring to every imperfection that he loves. Every weird little habit. The funny little things that make me different from every other girl he could have. Like how I have a dorky laugh, or I can’t watch gory movies, or the way my hair smells. All of the little things that he notices and adores. I want to be that girl.

Every once in awhile, a girl has to indulge herself.

2010-04-01T23:59:00.002+08:00

I shall update today with no pictures because... Idk wtf is wrong with blogger. Idk if it's just mine anot, but it definitely has got problemsz :(

Had painting and it lasted longer than usual bcuz we didn't finish the room in the expected time. Continued painting then it was souvenirs for the spastic school people! Then proceeded to the school. Helped out pasting stickers on the pens, and fell asleep halfway pasting. :$ Embarrassing ttm. But nvm~

Went back to school, met Pw and homed. Bathed changed and such, went to mrt to wait for her. She was so long i got :@ waiting, because it was reaching 4.30pm andandand!! ICA building closes at 4.30pm. :( So ite met her at cityhall instead. No time alrdy what! I missed 4 trains becuz of her. Sweet???? :(

Okok had frolicks and went to replace my screen protector and got a phone cover to protect my phone! and it's soooo pink hehe ♥. then after that Pw sent me to mrt and i trained to petal and met Willard & co. did nth and hsh at nigggggggggggght!

And MollyMoh wants me to post this:
yongjun is the cutest. and he is the (insert number here)-most-important-to-me. After my dad, mum, sister, leti, pw, money clothes clothing shops stores shopping malls movie theatres shoe shops computer keyboard mouse oxygen carbon dioxide cars hydrogen carbon monoxide trees flowers speakers perfumes waterbottle cream penknife dictionary books equilizer pens soft toys specs contactlens table drawer chairs rock pebbles lights and many more. :>

“I could be forgetful at times , but despite my imperfection . I'm striving hard to be the best I can be . I don't text nor ask how are you , but that doesn't mean I forgotten you . For I'll always remember you by a solid heart . It takes a minute to have a crush on someone , an hour to like someone . But it takes a lifetime to forget someone like you . Maybe it's the way you grab my hand and hold it or the way you kiss me or maybe it's the way you let me put my arms around you . Maybe it's the way you look at me and your smile just makes me melt . Maybe it's the way we could talk on the phone for hours about nothing and yet I feel that I just had the best conversation of my life . Maybe it's the way that I want to break down and cry when I think about how you've always been there for me . Maybe that's it . That makes me want you so much .”
-♥.

If we weren't meant to be, why did we meet?

2010-03-31T21:28:00.002+08:00

Forgotten what happened in school yesterday, after school headed to Peiwen's house, trained. After training, headed to meet Benedict, then bussed to Pasir ris meet Willard, Mengyang and Aaron. Slacked awhile, walked to Willard's and cabbed homesweethome! Bathed and slept.

For today, I had a fairly enjoyable time in school. :) PE was alright, followed by break. Locked Mrs Ling and Mr Sng outside the classroom for awhile, laughoutloud* . Then recess, and all of us except Haziq and Eemeng were inside the classroom, sleeping. Outshot the time, and Eemeng came to find us, followed by Mr Rahim. Then we locked Mr Rahim out too. HAHA, damn amusing. Finally headed to library for mpfc, but that was before Mr Saiful and Mark called me to ask all of our whereabouts.

Surprisingly, Mr Saiful wasn't very angry. Went through mpfc with strength cards, which made me happy. Went for assembly and stayed in school to settle some stuff. Headed to mama and stayed there til 6. Went to petal with Benedict and met Willard aft that.

Homed to change, and came out again. Currently at Willard's house, just finished my dinner :) Woohoo. I'm so full, okay. Going out nao, baibai pplzx.

Dreams are always crushing when they don’t come true. But it’s the simple dreams that are often the most painful because they seem so personal, so reasonable, and so attainable. You’re always close enough to touch, but never close enough to hold and it’s enough to break your heart.

As the angels cry.

2010-03-29T23:19:00.002+08:00

Camp class pix. Miss camp already. Miss it so much. Today was a fountain day. Hmm, nothing else to add on. Just here to post up the camp pixxz. :)

There are 8 billion people in this world, 8 billion lives are changing;
and you're the only one I need.

Lightning don't strike the same place twice.

2010-03-29T01:38:00.001+08:00

It's a bad night.
Pictures of last beautician course up.

it's messyyyy.

I never fall apart because I never fall together.

2010-03-27T07:29:00.004+08:00

I am back from night-ridingggggggggg!

Yesterday was quite a bad day for me, as some of you can tell from my Twitter. Anyway, I didn't met Peiwen for my IC because I overslept. I am sorry my dear girl :(.

Anyway, met Aaron&co. Lepaked until around 11+, Bryan tongpanged me back to my house to get whatever I needed, then we went riding~ It was quite enjoyable for me. I guess I liked the adrenaline rush. (y) By the end of the day, I was still excited to ride back home while the others were all half-dead @ e stage. Hehe :$

But anyway, all that riding is giving me an empty stomach. I shan't eat due to my fatness. I shall increase my metabolism before anything! :> Plus, the riding gave me muscle aches. I think I'll die later when I wake up.

And, this part is for Ian my daddy (he wanted his name to be at the BIGGEST).
Got headache still dw to sleep, later headache worse ah! And, cheerup & don't be stressed! :) Don't always be bored laa, hahaha!

The hurt began to fade and it was easier to just let go. At least I thought it was. But in every boy I met in the next few years, I found myself looking for you, and when the feelings got too strong I’d write you another letter. But I never sent them, in fear of what I might find. By then, you’d gone on with your life and I didn’t want to think about you loving someone else. I wanted to remember us like we were that summer. I didn’t want to ever forget that.

Show me how to lie, you're getting better all the time.

2010-03-26T08:51:00.006+08:00

Yesterday/today's a pretty bad day for me. But, I guess it's not as bad as.... quite a number of people. I've received upsetting news, painful news, stressful news, and etc. But anyway, I'd rather have the truth than hearing what I wanna hear.

Anyway, cross out everything. I'ma strong girl now. I can get over anything.
Didn't went to Sports Day tday cuz well... What's the point? I'm gonna meet Peiwenny later to probably do my IC (like finally, yes. I haven't gotten my IC yet) and then head to town for her dental. I love going out with her, she can actually make me laugh til I have stomach aches and tears dripping from my eyes. (y)

Anyway I am bored so...

(Charmaine's blog)
Bold the sentence, if it's true.

001. i miss somebody right now.

002. i watch more tv than i used to.

003. i love olives.

004. i love sleeping.

005. i own lots of books.

006. i wear glasses or contact lenses.

007. i love to play video games.

008. i’ve watched porn movies.

010. i have been in a threesome.

011. i have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.

012. i believe honesty is the best policy.

013. i have acne free skin.

014. i like and respect al sharpton.

015. i curse frequently.

016.i’ve changed a lot mentally over the last year.

017. i have a hobby.

018. i’ve been told i have a nice butt.

019. i carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.

020. i’m really, really smart.

021. i’ve never broken anyone else’s bones.

022.i have a secret that i am ashamed to reveal.

023. i love it when it rains.

024. i’m paranoid at times.

025. i would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free. (If it's not painful)

026. i need money right now.

027. i love sushi .

028. i talk really, really fast sometimes.

029. i have fresh breath in the morning. ( After brushing teeth , yes ! )

030. i have semi-long hair.

032. i have at least one brother and/or sister.

033. i was born in a country outside of the u.s.

034. i shave my legs.

035. i have a twin.

037. i couldn’t survive without caller i.d.

038. i like the way that i look.

039. i have lied to a good friend in the past 6 months.

041. i am usually pessimistic.

042. i have mood swings.

043. i think prostitution should be legalized.

044. i think britney spears is pretty.

045. i have cheated on a significant other.

046. i have a hidden talent.

047. i’m always hyper no matter how much sugar i have.

048. i think that i’m popular.

049. i am currently single.

050. i have kissed someone of the same sex.

051. i enjoy talking on the phone.

052. i practically live in sweatpants or pj pants. (At home , duh)

053. i love to shop.

054. i would rather shop than eat.

055. i would classify myself as ghetto.

056. i’m bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.

057. i’m obsessed with my blog!

058. i don’t hate anyone.

059. i’m a pretty good dancer.

060. i’m a horrible dancer.

061. i’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.

062. i have a cell phone.

063. i watch much music on a daily basis.

064. i have cried myself to sleep before.

065. i have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.

067. i have never been in a real relationship before.

068. i’ve rejected someone before.

069. i currently have a crush on someone.

070. i have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life.

071. i want to have children in the future.

072. i have changed a diaper before.

073. i’ve had the cops called on me before.

074. i bite my nails.

076. i’m not allergic to anything deadly. (At least I think so.)

077. i have a lot to learn.

078. i have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger.

080. i am very shy around the opposite sex.

081. i’m online 24/7, even as an away message.

082. i have at least 5 away messages saved.

083. i have tried alcohol before.

084. i have made a move on a friend’s significant other in the past.

085. i own the “south park” movie.

088. i enjoy country music.

089. i love my best friend(s).

090. i think that pizza hut has the best pizza.

091. i watch soap operas whenever i can.

092. i’m obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist.

096. halloween is awesome because you get free candy.

097. i watch spongebob squarepants and i like it.

098. i have dated a close friend’s ex.

099. i’m happy as of this moment .

100. i have gone scuba diving.

101. i’ve had a crush on someone i’ve never met.

102. i’ve kissed someone i knew i shouldn’t.

103. i play a musical instrument. (used to)

104. i strongly dislike math.

105. i’m procrastinating on something right now.

106. i own and use a library card.

107. i fall in “lust” more than in “love”.

108. cheese enchiladas rock my socks.

109. i think the lord of the rings is one of the greatest things ever.

110. i’m obsessed with the tv show “lost.”

111. i am resentful that i have to grow up.

112. i am an entirely different person around different people.

113. i think the world would be a better place if people just smiled and meant it more often.

114. i think ramen is the best kind of food in the whole world.

115. i am suffering of a broken heart.

116. i am a nerd.

117. no matter where i am or who i’m with, i always seem to be lonely.

118. i am left handed and proud of it.

119. i don’t change who i am for someone else.unless it's for the better

120. my heart resides below my feet.

121. i am a senior in school. ( Upper sec what ! )

122. i enjoy smoothies.

123. i have gastritis.

124. i have nothing better to do with my time.

125. i am listening to radiohead right now.

126. most people call me by my middle name.

127. i once stole a music stand.

129. i love nascar!

130. i own over 200 cds.

131. i work 7 days a week.

132. i have mono.

132. i don’t have the ability to make decisions without changing my mind.

133. people tell me i have a horrible sense of humor.

134. i’m only wearing underwear.

136. i’ve driven to a different state to see a band i liked.

137. i am the most over analytical person i know.

138. i believe in wasting time.

139. i don’t listen to too much music.

141. my favorite holiday isn’t christmas.

142. i prefer weeks off of work instead of days here and there.

143. i love sex.

144. i wanna go home.

145. i don’t know what i would do without my friends.

146. christmas threw up in my dorm room and i love it.

147. friends is (one of) my favorite tv shows.

148. i’m hungry.

149. i’m still angry about the nip/tuck season 2 finale cliffhanger.

150. i’m a potterhead and proud of it!

151. i noticed there are several numbers missing from this list, making this very much not the 151st entry.

152. i lied about one of the items on this list.

153. my siblings are my best friends.

155. i have a problem expressing things.

156. i have lost a parent.

157. i am the most deprived person i know on the face of the planet.

158. i have at least one test tomorrow that i am not prepared for yet.

159. i love slim jims! even if they are really bad for you.

160. i am sick and tired of school so i am not going. (Used to, feel this every now and then but nth serious, yet)

161. i love sundance.

162. i do not watch television. Occasionally, even though I've got a TV in my room.

163. i love starbucks coffee drinks.

164. i am living at least one lie right now.

168. i’m a little crazy. (Very, infact. Imh anyone?)

169. i like the smell of white tic tacs.

170. i know at least one person in a “life or death” crises at this moment.

172. i always know all the gossip at my school/workplace/whatever, and nobody ever suspects it.

173.i have thought about suicide.

175. i can be selfish.

176. i’m so emo at times.

177. i can solve a 3x3 rubik’s cube.

179. i cheated on a test before.

181. i’m sick of drama

182. i need a job

I am not going to sit around and wait any longer. It's time that I should move on, and permernantly this time.

Don't let your heart go, please dont walk away.

2010-03-24T21:50:00.003+08:00

Had beautician course today instead of the usual timetable. 1hr of serious-talk-session with Mr Saiful, subsequently headed to the hall for our assembly. I had a great laugh during the twice played school song. Aftermath, headed to starsroom and Mr Raj gave us a 10min serious talk session. Proceeded to mama to meet Kh, then busstop met Aaron & co. Headed to petal and lepaked all the way.

Mood isn't very good today. And thanks to some irritant, my mood's getting from bad to worst. And It cause me to be so irritated that my mind started wandering around in circles again. I really hate it. Why must girls pms!? :@

What if this time, I don't say hi first? What if this time, I don't text you back? What if this time, I leave you wondering? Yeah, what if this time, you're the one left feeling completely fucked over.

I'll never be the same.

2010-03-23T23:17:00.004+08:00

Today was painting classroom, break, maths, recess, mpfc, and group counselling!

And while painting, I was singing, then it started raining and guess what!? Eemeng claimed that it rained cuz I sang >: Then suddenly during Math, I was having my period cramps. Been long since I last had a cramp >: Mad pain. Slept during mpfc cuz I was sleepy :$ .

After school > Home. Bathed, changed and down to mama to meet Benben, Willard & Aaron. Waited for Wenyi to come out, then headed off to petal. Willard & Benben went to makan while Aaron & i went to find Bryan, Christopher & Ian at 121. Lepaked and hsh!

The tears will stop falling, your heart will heal itself. So hold on and don't let go. Don't lose hope. You'll find someone who will treat you the right way, the way he never did. Someone who will never ever leave you the way he did. He'll be worth the wait, so hang in there.

As long as I got eyes, I'll have a sight for you.

2010-03-22T22:48:00.004+08:00

Today nth much, schooled as usual. Nothing out of the ordinary except Aaron reported sick and pangseh-ed me :@ And, after school, the whole sec 3 level had oral exams. :$ I ended my stars prg at 2.30pm, rushed to class, just in time. I was the next person that had to go :/ Finished off and went to find Benedict@ his class. Then went to find Aaron the rest, just in time to see Weetee pierce his tongue :p

Anw, finally saw Charmaine after so long ^^ Went to lepak around and off to reservoir! Rotted there and finally hsh! :>

Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place.

The only exception.

2010-03-21T07:22:00.002+08:00

I came back from Changi Airport. Tired ttm, yet I don't feel like sleeping. Weird but who cares.

Sometimes, I've been wondering whether I'm thinking too much. I feel like I think too much and that makes me feel like I'm nonsensical. I read too much into some things and... Well, cause a scene. I'm sensitive, I guess. I don't know why am posting this.
Something random: I am starving.

I guess I'm wondering about all these is because I'm exhausted. Yes, I'm starting to feel really drained out. I really should tear my butt off the chair and drag myself to sleep before I fall asleep infront of the comp as usual. I need to get back to my school-clock-routine. I can do it, go me.

PS: I love TweetSG for providing super easy text-via-SMS services. Other webbys like.... I don't know.

If you’re going to love me, love me deeply. If you’re going to break my heart, then break it all. If you’re going to care, care for me completely. If you decide not to hold me, then just let me fall. If you’re going to stay, then stay forever and if you want to leave, then do it today. If you’re going to change, change for the better. And if you’re going to talk, please mean what you say.

Wash away my tears.

2010-03-20T00:13:00.006+08:00

Went to Changi Airport to study with Jeth and Benedict. Was late as usual :$ . Sarah came to join us during the evening time. Studied til around 7+? Then trained and bussed down to petal, meet Joanne. Cabbed to 201 there to meet her friends, played taptap with Sarah, played 3 times, owned her all the way :p

Went off a lil after that with Sarah, separated ways. Went to bedok reservoir's 7 11, waited for Yongci & co. the person who told me about the fishing trip: Aaron. And he went home ._. Cool right. Anw, Yongci, Darryl, Bryan, Christopher and Yongsheng came down, cycled to reservoir, and it drizzled and got heavier. Went opp 7 11 for shelter and I cabbed home ite becuz it was so cold and I felt like coming home :$

And today's study session, I can say it's quite successful. First time did my own work instead of disturbing people :> Hehehehe.

I wish he would grow up, stop playing games and stop leaving me on this string. Because im madly in love with him. I wish he still loves me.

When leaving is the only option you've got.

2010-03-18T23:26:00.007+08:00

Last part of today was awesomeeeeeeeee. (y)

I dillydallyed as usual and met Aaron Benedict Bryan Qiyang Willard & friend. Willard & Qiyang went off to find Wenyi, friend went off, and Bryan, Benedict & i sent Aaron to wait for bus, then went to Pet Safari to look @ dogs. And my heart totally melted after seeing the small lil snow white maltese. SO TERRIBLY CUTE!!! I took a picture before Bryan even told me that no pictures were allowed :$

Went petal met up with Willard, Qiyang & Darryl, before heading down to grandlink. Met Xuanjin & Yongsheng on e bus. Reached grandlink, just started l4d2, Charlotte came. Played campaign with her, Benedict & Willard. And the funny thing is, while playing l4d2, Benedict & I were dying. And we started shooting each other in l4d2, super funny. He shot me until I died, and the second time was when we end game. Laughed til I had tears in my eyes. LOL. Hsh after that.

~~Nao, fucking irritated. WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFIAK.~~ Solved.

Cute. Hehe.

Took my heart to the limit, and this is where I'll stay.

2010-03-17T21:39:00.004+08:00

I AM CURRENTLY AT LAN AND I AM DONE WITH L4D2 AND AM SO PISSED WITH IT CAUSE THE COMP IS LAGGING LIKE IT'S FLIRTING WITH OTHER COMPS :@:@:@:@:@

Went to school in e afternoon to get mai phone and petal to meet Benedict Darryl and Aaron. Then Bryan Willard Weetee came after that. Changi beach and I almost panicked and drowned. Bathed and while texting I almost fell into a med sized drain. Went to eat and Wenyi came. Bussed to Elias to supposedly play lan but the comp is fuckshit and I gave up playing -.-

AND THE WORST: My phone is dying on me. It just flashed "Battery Low" I feel like killing it. Arghzxzxzxzx

Eddddddddit:
aft lan> willard's house> mac> tenaga, meet kheehao and charlotte! miss my bb so much Xxx

After that> homeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! i've a boring life awww. :(

One: To say Goodbye.

2010-03-16T22:33:00.002+08:00

Wellllll. 2day went to bedok library to return books for sister and leticia's friend and i had qiyang and fabian wait for me for an hour hehez sorry! :$ after that bussed to tmallz and ate there. fabian went off with his lil brother and qiyang accompanied me to petal to meet benedict and willard :> then bussed to bedok reservoir and darryl got slapped and punched by me while bryan got slapped. :$:$:$ oopz. i was a mad woman 2day, pardon me *ahem.

hsh arnd 9plus! :>

The cake is my mum's birthday cake. It's taken during jan. And second pix is taken with my dad's dslr. Don't know how long ago also. :/

PS: my daddy bought cocokrunch for moiiiiiiiii becuz i said i wanted it in the morning! ☺ luv mai daddy so muchie. anyone jealouz?!
PPS: I luv hughug so terribly and am this close to neglecting everything and juz huggggggg it to sleep!

Wishing's just no good.

2010-03-15T19:11:00.004+08:00

HAHAHA, my class doing footdrills on the first day of camp. Hardworking much? And omg I just realised that I'm shorter than alot of people. @@ I wna grow taller, but all I'm growing is growing horizontally. That sucks.

And, my tireburns on my left calf is hurting like mad. Today is a boring day. I am full from maggiemee. I am going to whine so damn frickin' much 2nite becuz Bb's going Zirca 2nite with many others whom I know is going. And I can't becus I'm dead broke and my lovely phone is pathetically lying in the General Office with a sticky tape taped to its back (!!!:@) and my leg hurts. Basically, this suckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkks. >:

K i shall stop whining and carry on with rotting. Bai (inserts sad face)

HAHAH, something I found @ my old blog:
Dear (someone you with whom you have recently spoken),
I don't really know how to tell you this, (1). I think I realized it (2) (3) and I saw you (4)(5) . I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand That you need a (7). I'm returning (8), but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).

(12),
Your name

1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black - Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're mean
Other -I dislike your eyelashes

2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When I quoted Forest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When you smacked my ass
August - When I saw the purple monkey
September - Last year when you peed in your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I finally changed my underwear

3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Lasagna- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Fish - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bit of
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over

5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey – The Catholic Priest
Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 CD
Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
None – My prized statue of Michael Jackson in the nude
Other --The elephant in the corner

6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Sexy
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Annat - shamed

7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Silly - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks

8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear

9) The first letter of your first name?
A/B - My virginity
C/D - Your photo with the mustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbour’s dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your suicide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F -Never will forget that night
G/H – Hate your cooking
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Will tell the authorities that you did not steal that whale in the back yard
M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Was interviewed about the car you stole
Q/R - Always wanted to break your legs
S/T - Get sick when I think of your feet
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z – am better off without you

11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water – I'm scratching my ass as you read this
Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war
Mineral water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked
Hot chocolate – Your cucumber fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine
Other – you should stop picking your nose

12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Best of luck on the sex change
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Greetings to your frog
Egypt – Kiss my butt
England - Go drown yourself

And my (previous) outcome? (:

Dear Kenneth Yang (Sorry la, I don't like him.),
I don't really know how to tell you this, (1. Your nostrils are insulting). I think I realized it (2 When you put cuffs on me) (3 under the bus) and I saw you (4 sit on)(5 my boyfriend) . I'm sure you're (6 middle class) enough to understand That your (7 driving sucks). I'm returning (8 your toe ring), but I'll keep (9 your creditcards) as a memory. You should also know that I (10 told in my confessions today about the moose poaching) and (11 the apartment building is on fire).

(12 Go milk a cow),
Yongxin

This is hilarious. :O

So much to say, but where do I start? Would you listen if I spoke from the heart?

2010-03-15T00:56:00.005+08:00

Hiiiiiii. Am currently @ Aaron's house and my eyes are closing and painful... mainly becus, I drank a lil just nao and my contacts are very dry >:

K basically, get to mai day:
I waited like an idiot outside macs for Benben, Willard, Aaron & Yongsheng becus apparently I forgotten to call Willard before I left mai hse. But anyway they came soon after. :> Bryan came after that, and headed 2 Ian's playground thr. Evening went over to reservoir via Bryan's bicycle (he tongpang-ed me there^^)

Reached, & had our session. Drank more than a bottle. (y) Please don't get mad at me for drinking. I can't help it :( Besides, nothing happened. :/
After so, Bryan tongpang-ed me on his bicycle again, and becus my head was a lil woozy from the booze, I missed my footing and I got slid halfway across the zebra crossing and got tireburns at my left calf. Hurts like mad. And if I hadn't worn jeans 2day, my kness would be totally...... cmi.

So well, I got to ride on Bryan's bicycle while Bryan cycled on Aaron's and well... Aaron walked. And he said it was alright since he wanted privacy to talk to... *AHEM. So well, that's one of the reasons why I ♥ him as my beifu/brother. :>

Cycled to his house and here I am! Onlined for a certain person becus some idiot didn't reply to mai text + I missed him vehli muchiez. But anw, not online. So.... I guess I'ma gna get some shuteye soon. :> Yawn. My eyes r painfulzxc. >:

It's a hard thing faking a smile when I feel like I'm falling apart inside.

2010-03-14T15:53:00.005+08:00

Honestly, I hate people who has tons of attitude and thinks that the whole fucking world owes them a living. Don't you? I mean... Seriously? Lol, I've nothing to comment anymore. I just feel very frustrated when that person talks to me like that... Ohwell.

Somehow or rather, I've been feeling like a sparetire recently. Well, I shall get over it and not whine anymore because...............

~~I am going to meet my dearest bb later on! ^-^~~
She... she cancelled out on me again :( Ahhh, nevermind.
Along with Bryan & the resttttt. And anyway...

Happy birthday Bryan Soh! :)

Aaron's chalet, Yongci's cammy!:

I will be contented , even with two hours of tears alone , just for that one second of kiss with you.

I will try to fix you.

2010-03-13T20:04:00.002+08:00

LOL HAHA. Convo with Jeth. I found out his full name and he told me not to post on fb but I had already posted it on my twitter. Then he wna put "piggy seow? /fatty seow?" on fb and I was like, "Ok lor i post bigbig on my fb" and yeah... HAHAHAHA. Omg, made my day.

Well so i was @ petal with wenyi willard and benedicttttt. brought out the bubble wrap for entertainment and yeah, had fun. then benedict proceeded to buy the... Pop pop thing? you throw it and it'll make a small explosion thing. bought like 2packets and entertained ourselves with it.

willard sent wenyi home and the 2 of us were w8ing for him to come back, and while willard was gone, the voiddeck had become my home, broom=toothbrush, hole in wall= mirror, drain= water pipe, etc. LIKE LOL ONLY? Willard came back & headed 2 macs to eat and aft that > home cus i am damn tired + my muscles are honestly breaking down >:

k am done bai.

and 2 a certain someone, pls be happy when you see this last pix, convo with jeth. i keep mai promises. (Y)

There's more to us than you realise.

2010-03-12T14:49:00.006+08:00

This is going to be another emotional, wordy post!So, as you can see from my previous post, during these 3d2n's, I've been locked away @ Jalan Lekar with almost the rest of the Sec 3's.

I went there with a feeling of dread, not wanting to experience what's going to come up infront of me. I went there halfheartedly, dragged myself off the bus. And while during the small assemble with our Platoon Mentors (PM) behind the girls' bunk, within a short 15minutes, I've already noticed 5 millipedes crawling around. Honestly, I was !&$%#&%^*(&^$* and that's not even enough to describe how I felt.

We went through the postman walk, and I was basically feeding mosquitoes and sweating to no end there. Proceeded to the water tank activity next and I had fun covering the holes, although tiring. I can't really recall what's on with the first and second day as they both seem merged together in my mind.

But well, basically, the second day was the worst. Woke up early in the morning and the whole cohort had to do over 1740 success claps with our aching arms. And during the afternoon, some idiots had to smoke @ the campsite the previous night, and some sissy complained and got over 20 of our phones confiscated. Well, we had to do over 200 success claps/pumping but obviously... we didn't complete it.

9 of us had to run around doing physical training while got us looking like we just finished bathing. Ohwell. So yeah, today was our departure. And while some of the PM's were giving a piece of how they felt, alot of us were crying our eyes out. And yeah, you guessed it if you're even guessing at all. I cried too. Within this short 3d2n, I've learnt some things about myself, I've learnt about responsibility, self-discipline and such, but whether I'm going to continue being responsible/self-disciplined.... We'll see won't we? ^^

And well. I reached home and the first thing I did was to hug my dad, before even putting down my bag and all. I've missed him, mum, my sister, and my home so much. Awww ♥
Anyway gna go bathe & get ready to meet Aaron the rest soon ^^

Edited/
Nth much 2 update , went petal and Bryan came 2 pick moi up > find aaron mengyang yangshun joshua benedict > willard and wenyi came over , blahblahblah. Yeah . And the reason why am here is cus i promised benedict that i'd post his name in mai blog becus i was the first ever person he successfully tongpang-ed! ^^

k am out of here baixxxxx!

He looked at me and said, “Do you ever feel like you’re working for something you’re never going to get? A shoot and miss kind of deal. Like, no matter what, you can’t have it, but that makes you fight for it just a little bit more?” I looked at him, stared at him for a second, and replied, “everyday”

What goes around.

2010-03-09T23:23:00.003+08:00

hai!!!!! so 2day sch was boring and humid as usual @@ aft sch was like running 2.4km... -.- totally idioticz. so i went 2 bubbletea with peiwen and shihui, >vari nice> home, bathed. w8-ed for peiwen for quite a period before finally able 2 meet her.

trained 2 town tgt and she went to do her facial while i waited for her and while waiting i fell asleep lolzxzx and when i woke up she just finished her facial and i was half frozen to death already was so fcking colddddddddd pl0z. kk so dillydally-ed, headed to dk where to check out their food court, bought chendol then walked over to lido's pepper lunch and munched there yummiez ♥

aft munching we headed homeeee. i had a gr8 day with her and she srly made me laugh my ass off the whole day. HAHAHA. well muacks (k)

no pixxxx! :O
and anywayz i'm having camp tmoz-friday so bai, ppl miss moiz cus i won't be online for 3days 2nights~

What makes her just everything I can never be.

2010-03-08T23:18:00.003+08:00

i've no piz 2day boooooohooo. :( ok so sch was fine. i spent the hours before recess reading newspaper then subsequently heading to dreamland and aft recess hours were spent on reading kiss me kill me hehez! i was so darn absorbed by the book and on a few occassions i didnt hear people talking to me (or so they claimed) hahaha!!! so 716 > mama > home. i busied myself by transferring piz & songs in2 mai comp and headed 2 simlim sq with daddey 2 get mai phonez and was feeling damn empty cus mai cookie gna leave moiz~ i know it sounds dumb but.... whatever~ i was so attached 2 mai cookie... but basically mai reason for trading it in= it sucked.

so well i headed off 2 find aaron & co while daddey went 2 buy some things & 2 go on a hotdate with my mummey l8r on hehez. went 2 mac 2 eat with willard aaron darryl and bryan and the rest of the night was spent cycling lol omgz. chanced upon rafiq at the near end of e night and he gave us some info as to what we were findingz but to no avail.

rushed home via cab and for the remaining walking distance, i ran. just becus some idiot asked me to faster go home. wthz rwightz!!!
so for that paticular balless person, this is for you -> ♥ , (U).
ok nao luv me. hehez!!! bai idiots i had a fairly enjoyable time.

It's so hard to be strong, when you've been missing somebody so long.

2010-03-07T14:25:00.007+08:00

Yesterday:
Was supposed to meet Sarah at 2.30, accompany her to bishan then head to some where to catch a movie. But sadly, I accidentally locked myself at home and had to wait for Daddy or Mummy to come home and save me.

So well, they came and saved me, and I headed to get ready and such. By the time it was already a lil after 5, I think. I met her, and we realised we're wearing the same shoes. HAHA, omg, so cute isn't it ^^ Well, trained to town and headed to Cineleisure to see if there's Alice In Wonderland timings, but left was 9.50pm , and later. So we headed to Grand Cathay. Bought the tix for the 9pm show, and walked around plaza sing. Alicia came to join us on and off, and at 9pm, headed to the cinema. I liked the show, even though I didn't like the ending, cus I wanted Alice to stay!! :@ And, I fell in love with Johnny Depp. Omg, *melts* I'ma gonna catch Alice In Wonderland in 3d!!! K i am mad @@.

K well, wtv. Took a bus back with Sarah, but I dropped at DMSS. And I was dumb enough to miss my stop! -.- Argh well. Met 3 idiots and lepak awhile before heading to Kenneth's to watch them play mahjong and I fell asleep halfway thru the game, HAHA. Ok, now pix.

Overdued pix @ Aaron's chalet from Charmaine's cammy below,
I'm waiting for Yongci to send me the rest! :

Ok well, that's roughly all! And later on, I might be joining Bryan & (insertnameShere) to go fishing @ Bedok. Alrighty, bai pplz. Love me cus I became strong.

/Edited, 11.04pm:
K hi i'm back home (Y) I dillydallyed and bryan had to call me numerous times to get me to get ready and get my ass off the comp chair. hehez ok so went 7 11, helped them to buy 1.5l plain water & 100+, and 1l greentea. mad tiresome, and the bus chose to drive real slow. :@:@:@ met them and after awhile aaron went off to meet his aunt for dinner and left bryan yongci and i to, well... rot. and while i was in da toilet it was... funny. i on-ed a song and a girl sang along, looked and me, laughed and said "sorry" & "bye" o___________________o

so i had enuf of rotting and called down.... willard and benedict! :> yongci went home to put the fishing rod and disappeared and the rest of us went 511 as they wna eat and bryan headed off @ 9.30. willard's to lepak and he went home ultimately and left benben & i. h2h a lil bit and home i went :O

I'm terrified, but I'm not leaving.

2010-03-06T14:56:00.004+08:00

See how unfair the world is?

I realised... The more I attach myself onto the cyberworld, the more emotional I would become. I should go out more or just frickin' clean up my room or detach myself from the cyberspace.

And...
If you actually didn't plan to actually come back.... What's your point in the first place? ^_^
I may be nonsensical, a nuisance or smth, and although I frequently say "I am not dumb" , but I must admit, I am ~~dumb, very dumb, veryvery dumb,~~ fucking dumb in the affairs of the heart. And honestly, I am getting really very sick and tired of relationships. After every failed ones I've had, I look forward into the next because I thought it'd be different. But it's always the case where my past haunts me & I hurt someone(which is seldom the case tyvm) or I get hurt ultimately. And now currently...It's because I was waiting for someone. But after every sweet words you've told me, after every sayang you tell me, after every coaxing, after every single thing, it's like now I'm thinking, "Soooo... how many girls have you been saying this to up til now?". And it's no use saying so much, because I doubt you'll ever put it in mind. Everyone else is changing, but your're the only one not yet changed in that way. And after I typed that, I just remembered what I told AmandaC... And now I'm feeling -'-/confused all over again. Arghz fuck. I am not going to be dumb ever again. I swear to God.

Ok am gonna blog later, going out with SarahCSZ ltr baix.

Hold me 'til I hear you say you're not looking for perfection.

2010-03-05T23:56:00.002+08:00

I changed the time & date cus I want the date to be 5/3/10!
was almost late 2day ran in sch and while walking very fast i tripped and almost fell and guess what mr poon said?! "so unglam! faster go in"!!! :$:$:$ ttm. ok so 2day whole day spent in sch= library having our usual beautician lessonssss. first 1hr+ i was sleeping my head off cus it was so blardy boring and standard-- makeup. sneaked off while the rest were having their break to SB and came back before anyone of them could. ^-^ so nth much at all in sch.

aft sch= 716 with aaron & co. headed to mama soon after and 2+ headed off to 525 bball court with willard yangshun and joshua. me and amanda sat under 525 cus it was too hot and i fell asleep thr. woke up and got a med headache. it was bearable. bryan ian aaron charmaine darryl and benedict came down after that, separately. nua-ed there, then home, bathe and went out to meet aaron willard mengyang and weetee @ petal.

bussed to bedok int meet yongci and mengyang went home. almost banged wall while walking!!! then otw to skatepark, my headache was unbearable to the extent that i wanted to bang my head a million times on the wall/ drill my head with a hole-driller or smth. reached skatepark, damn amusing i tell you. well, 3+ i got tongpang-ed home by bicycle. :O thanks!! hehez. ok now pix upload. :/ don't see until faint~

they r the sexiest ppl on the universe.

aaron and ian were playing with the dead rat. and the above phone isn't mine, it's amanda's. and yes, we're using the same exact phone. LOL

You can't tell someone you love them and then change your mind. That's not how it works. Once you love someone, you always love them. Isn't there a part of you that thinks of him for no reason? They'll always be in the back of your mind. And no matter how much you love someone else, you'll always love them too.

You wasn't man enough to come and tell me that I was never the one.

2010-03-04T18:39:00.003+08:00

ok yes i was at the boys toilet. but i was washing paint brushes after aesthetic with aaron.

2day nth interesting happened. i kinda forgotten whatever things which happened 2day. i am getting serious stm-ness these few days. ok actually for quite a long while. i made my dad pissed off and i didn't even remember until i reached home. how cooooool is that. :/

ok, aesthetic>break>national education>recess>disabled centre (idk how spell the name laaaa!). then i accompanied Leticia to T1 aft sch 2day 2 eat then i went back 2 petal meet willard joshua and benedict. aaron bryan and ian came aft that. i reached home @ 6, and here i ammmmz!

gay ftw! (Y)

It's so much harder for me now because I've to go thrgouh the process of letting you go and feel helpless all over again.
"I love you with all my heart, but what you don't know is that you are tearing it apart. Am I invisible to you at school? You just let me be and make me feel like shit. When we are alone you acted like you loved me, and treated me like yr girlfriend. But at school u just act like i am another friend. I wish you knew how much u are killing me inside. Little, by little, by little. What did i do wrong this time?"

Pulling your puzzles apart.

2010-03-03T23:26:00.002+08:00

School was alright! We had about 30 mins break & 30 mins recess. (N) for today. Any other days back I would be (Y) but today... it's (N). And Aaron did something which srly made me (Y) today, lol! During Science we used iTouch to play Catch The Egg, damn cool. I start from stage 5? Ended @ Stage 11. :/ Noob is noob, but not bad okey!! h3h3x.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Had MPFC, was quite alright, SB during breaktime. Went for assembly and SLEEP FTW. (Y) Okay, aft that went back stars classroom, wrote down some stupid stuff and dismissed~ Headed 2 town with Peiwen via cab then walkwalkkkkk. And bloodyyyyy, Pw's so tall when wearing a 10cm heelz and i am blardy taller than her by abit when am wearing the blardy heels!!! ;@

Eat pepper lunch for dinner and cabbed down to 525 meet Willard, Benben, Bryan, Ian, Charmaine and Darryl. I changed shoes to slippers with Willard and he looks so gay wearing Pw's shoes (Y) Ok pix below. Enjoy but try not to puke tyvm ;> Still got some pix with Pw!!!

HAHAHA ok i've nth to add. Baibaix smooch you!!! ;>

I just need you to know.

2010-03-02T16:17:00.005+08:00

@Aaron's chalet.
Today school was alright. I enjoyed painting the walls of the classroom, I enjoyed fixing the handicraft thingy (Will post pix below!) with Aaron, although he did most of the fixing, HAHA. I enjoyed time with the MPFC people, although it brings back unwanted, and unplesant memories. I realised, these 2 days, alot of uncalled for memories are churning inside my head. But it's alright. I'll get over it soon, I'm not gonna be the same as I used to be. I won't feel the same way as I've felt previously. And I'm sure I can definitely do it. Go me!

Close up pix of Aaron's birdday cake!

The pirate ship I chose to do! Aaron helped me with the ship, which actually kinda look like a carriage. :O

It's crazy, right? To love someone who's hurt you.
It's crazier to think that someone who hurt you loves you.

我的泪流在心里学会放弃

2010-03-01T23:29:00.003+08:00

Aaron's chalet, see his cake, damn nice (Y)

Make up session last fri.

Nothing much to update about. Just, I'm learning to be independent and successful! Yeah, I can do it. :>

And it hurts so bad, it don't feel the same.

2010-02-26T23:21:00.003+08:00

School today was somewhat awesome! As usual, STARS Prg. Butbutbut! We did makeup today. Yes, makeup. With foundation, eyeliner, eye shadow, blusher & lipstick. After makeup was removing it, toner+scrub and finally mask! HAHA. Met up with Aaron & co. and headed to mama.

2hours later, headed down to Bedok North with Peiwen, Martin and Lukey. Like totally..... _l_ . That's the only way I can describe. @@
Idk lahz. Went macs, then cabbed to Kenneth's house. I fell asleep there til like 9.30pm. Omgz.

And, to some fxcking lovely bitch ^^, No idea if you'll ever get to read this, but...
Please, your small little beady eyes, stop wandering around and blinking so hard, then looking away. :D God please. Did you know that this state we're in, you blardy started it first, so what rights do you think you have, to actually look me up and down then looking away? ^^ You can do wtv you want outside, go suck a dick, lick some ballz, and go on, let guys go over to your house and hanky panky, I don't care. Stop turning your eyes this way can already. You yourself knows how disgusting you are :DD . Love you. Muacks (K)

Whenever you are gone, I just wanna be with you.

2010-02-25T23:22:00.010+08:00

Yesterday (Wednesday, 24th. Previous post date's Wed cuz after 12):
STARS Programme was mundane. I don't really remember what happened tho. Think, spent roughly the whole day in the gym? Went for assembly, was kinda happy becus I haven't attended any class related stuff. And I actually do miss classes. :/

After school headed to Macs with Benedict and Amanda. Then Aaron the rest came over. I went home around 6+, bathed and came out. Caught 9.35pm show with Danny. Finished watching, went slack awhile and homesweethome!

-Insert pix here-
Today:
Not much things on? STARS Programme. Did painting during aesthetic! And Darryl kept saying my paint is crying, because it kept dripping ._. But my painting skills wasn't as pathetic as his, HAHAHA. Paint landed on his shirt~

Slept during National Education, and aft was a trip to... Cerebral Palsy Centre. At Pasir ris. Had a lil free time after lunch, so we sneaked out to have a quick huhu. Had a real wtf moment inside the centre. Some people should know why :/ Reached back sch at around 2.10pm, and was dismissed. HAHAHA.

Headed to Willard's after sch, then to Benedict's. Homed after that, bathed and all, went down to Jojo's. Watch them play mahjong again. Slept while they played. Tired like hell. Went 506 meet Willard, and he was kind enough to accompany me eat Macs. Hehe. Ate, slacked and cabbed home~

See what I mean by gay? :O

Animal Pic: Part of Aaron and Yongsheng's creation during Group Counselling, tues. If you see clearly, it's the hippo and crocodile making out and the snake * the crocodile's *ahem*. And it's like don't-know-how-many-some's can! Omgz.

Soldier Pic: Bored so did that. Very dumb, but was bored what!

Drawing during art class. I feel it's very okay already! And I didn't know it's drafting work.. -_-

Okay, it's pretty much all! Very dumb pictures, and comes with dumb post. Well, byebye! :D

Wishing you'd come sweeping like the way you did before.

2010-02-24T01:28:00.003+08:00

HI. Today school was kinda okay. Bit boring. Felt empty all the way~ Met Aaron & Yongsheng aft school and went meet Joshua Jeremy Samuelmuel Willard and AmandaC! Lepak awhile then me Aaron Willard and AmandaC went petal~ W, A and I headed to mac. Ate and met Bryan. I fell asleep for over an hour there, and the next thing I knew, I woke up, saw Xuanjin already there and Bryan was already in his home clothes -.-!

Waited for Aaron, separated ways with AmandaC @ Bedok int, headed to East coast first, waited for Christopher. It was already 8.45pm, and I wanted to go home. But the next bus that was coming.... Know how long? 13 minutes. Gave up the idea of going home and walked all the way to Bedok jetty. Legs r mad tired. Watched them fish, played around, and Ys cabbed us back to Damai and I took a bus home from there. That's pretty much all. Sooo tired.

Kiss and tell.

2010-02-23T00:23:00.002+08:00

Today, was the start of stars programme. It's quite okay actually. :) and if we (aaron, atiqah, ros, ee meng, hidil, haziq and yongsheng) attends everyday til Friday, Raj's gonna give us a treat~

Anyway, after school went down to ubi with Aaron and Benben. Met up with Ian, Christopher, Yongci (been ages since last saw him!!!). And happened to see Yuning, Tongshan and Georgina. And like, the last time I saw them was, during 2009? ._. Anyway, skipskipskip, nothing much.... Went 137 with Aaron, Bryan, Ian, Yongci, Yuning, Georgina, Germaine, Germaine's boyf, Weetee and Weetee's brother. Cabbed to Och after they finished eating. Reached there, and after some this and that's, didn't went in.

Instead, we headed to Changi beach to have a swim. Swam til around 9+, before heading to the toilets to clean up. And the guys were like going into the girls' toilet to disturb -_- Idiots totally. After, headed to Och again, but didn't went in, as we were waiting for Christopher, Xuanjin and friend to come out. And this and that's again. Then went to Changi V to take bus, and Cheers cashier was totally (Y). HAHAHA. K that's alllll. Baibaix!!

Ah screw, pictures can't be uploaded. Shall upload another time if I remember! :)

Second chance.

2010-02-21T21:34:00.003+08:00

Not much today. Stayed home and watched movies.
Have fun you idiot,
uoyeraerehw!

Edited/

Hahaha! Omg so cute canzxzx!!! Look at the screen! Feel like buying @@. And...

I received a text,
"God saw your sadness and said "hard times are over." If you believe in Him send this to ten people including me.Watch what happens in the next 30 minutes. Trust Him!"

And know what I replied? "I see myself sleeping in 30minutes." , Lolz!

Another day without you with me.

2010-02-20T18:48:00.005+08:00

Yesterday was quite a bad day for me. I reached home after lepak with Kthc Myj & friends, took my own sweet time and used comp, then Charlotte told me meet at 7. And it was 6.30 already. So I flew around. LOL. Met her, cabbed to Parkway, bought our dress. Then, 196-ed to don't know where, and we cabbed over to Chinese Garden, Park Oasis. (and that was where I'm wrong. I heard Kenny said Pub Oasis instead of Park -.-) How idiotic. Lol.

I had quite a bad time there. First it was feeling ultra bored, then it was feeling irritated yet laughing, then I suddenly became super pissed off. I'm so damn sorry to Eugene and Donovan. And sorry to the others. :<>

And sorry Charlotte for ignoring you. Cabbed to Tmart, and my patience was reaching to its limit, because the cab driver kept going in rounds. Well, bad mood what :/

Charlotte cabbed home, while we (Christopher, Ian, Bryan, Yongsheng, Charmaine & friend) headed up to Aaron's. I used comp, watch movie and fell asleep at 7am.

I am happy today.

2010-02-19T17:57:00.002+08:00

Today,

I am very happy.
So thanks for making me the happiest girl ever. Rejoice.

So dead, so dead. I've got noone to blame except myself.

All I do is lay around, two years full of tears.

2010-02-18T20:19:00.003+08:00

Ignore my faces on these stupid pixz :/

Today school...

During English, I finished my compre and went to sleep. Same goes for Chem. But for chem I got 17/25! And, as lousy as it may seem to some people, but it's alright for me!
Had Chinese test, and I copied all from Vanessa -_-
Recess and then Dnt, charged my phone during Dnt, had Dnt test, fretted and almost got a bloody headache!!
Continued with Dnt, then I tried brainstorming for a product.
1.30pm, went to STARS programme meeting @@.
Went tenaga wait for Charlotte for a verrrrrrrrrrrry long while, then cabbed to MP library as they wanted to study, and I did what I did best: Sleep. (Y)
5plus, went PP eat pepper lunch! :>
Then, Wansze and June had to go. Bid them farewell and went window shopping with Charlotte!
Had plans for Sunday ♥

Yeah, that's all! ^^

When you get what you want but not what you need.

2010-02-17T16:03:00.005+08:00

I was early for school today, but I went in at 9am with Peiwen and Shihui. We are bloody honest kids who went to report to General Office even though we could've ran. Luckily Mrs Tan saved me from Raj -_- , had a 2hr counselling session with her, and then it's my recess. Then Mothertongue>Geog>Assembly. And I felt so demoralized during Mothertongue cuz we were doing compo test and I was trying my hardest doing thinking of what to write, and I had to call for help during like every 5mins. And the worst thing is.... After 45+ mins, I only wrote 4 lines. I honestly did think okay!!! Sighz. Vbad mood after that. During assembly I was fucking restless and got irritated constantly. Came home after school. And my mom was being a bitch. (Y) BEST.

Only thing that made me feel better was a phone call.♥
K i'm done bye. No idea what's my whole point writing this dumb post.

Edited/
OMPG LOL!!! Me and fadong's msn. Too bored until play Minesweeper's Flag, I own him. Then he not happy want play tictactoe. And he own me like mad @@ @@!!!!!!!

The words you say, you know it all takes my breath away.

2010-02-16T14:02:00.001+08:00

Had quite a nice day out with my family yesterday! ;>

Bought an eyeliner & lipgloss and my 20+ fly ._. After that, went eat Ice cream outside lido, yummy. Another 20 fly. But it's yummy! ^^ Went to watch Percy Jackson & the Lightning Thief. It's awesomeeeeee. TEEHEEEEX!!!! Logan Lerman is soooo damn bloody hot ♥ OMGGGGGGG.

SO DAMN BLOODY HOT!!!! Mine >:)
Anyway. After movie went to find food to eat and that's hard because like, the everywhere's closed. Finally landed at 313's Marché. I ate til I was fulllll. Food wasn't bad, but I didn't like my spaghetti ;/ Went home then, reached home at 12. Went to prepare to sleep and ko-ed on my bed immediately. Too tired, and I actually slept 12 hourszx.

Okayyyy, I wanna go buy things later! I'm going with Vivian, hehe. Going to prepare now, Bye lovelies! :DD

Edit/
Hehez am backiezx.

Went to meet Vivian, and headed to T1 and got a 70$ thing for some people. :@ My money fly. 3 days and 200+ gone. I'm very sad.
Was at tampines whole day, at night went tenaga meet Ian, Bryan, Christopher and Xuanjin. Then after awhile homesweethome! Boring dayyyyyyy, cause I was lugging around one huge heavy plastic bag @@.

Okay that's all. BYE.

Là où étiez vous quand j'ai eu besoin de vous plus?

2010-02-15T13:04:00.003+08:00

Hieeeee. ♥

Wanna know how I spent yesterday? ;>
Hehez, I spent it by going Bukit Timah, eating buffet, collecting $$, sleeping on the comfy sofa, and then I cabbed down to boatquay to meet Eunice, Shane, Darren, Yushi, Weichieh(came later) and others!

Basically, I got drunk and I sat on a chair, and I fell down on the road, and I've got 2 more new scars! So cool right. :( Sad case.

Gonna try pass Pw her stuff later, then I'm going out watch movie!!! With my family~
Okey, am going off liaoz, byeeeeeee! Miss me bitches~

Edit/
Okey i've not yet gone out. Currently Second aunt and uncle at my house ._. Everytime I arrive at someone's blog, I can't help it but feel really upset. I don't know why I care anyway. Hehez! Shall stop my whining.

He's a wolf in disguise, but I can't stop staring into those evil eyes.

2010-02-13T18:34:00.003+08:00

Last night was horrible. Actual plan was to head down to Kenneth's then off to Yj's to drink. In the end changed plans. Went home to change and cabbed down to F1 pit building. Met Weichieh, Shane, Reinie, Darren and idk who else was there. Then went to meet Eunice, Fadong, Andy and Doreen.

Stayed outside with Eunice, Fadong, Andy and Doreen until they got their tix, then went in. While we were outside, we peered in, cause we could see inside. And our reaction was all the same... "OMFG". The space was too big, and the crowd was too little. Totally not what I'd expected. I thought the space would be too cramped as usual, and the crowd would be overflowing. Well... The amount of crowd there, it would be overflowing if it were inside a normal club. Ohwell. I think school prom nights are much better, with the deco, reception, and beverages and such.

Oh yeah. About the drinks, we were supposed to get 1 free drink right? The person didn't give us. -.- And one packet of drink is about, $2? (Heard from weichieh.) I mean, packet ley. You can get it outside for lesser than a dollar and inside it's $2? -.-

Anyway, we ended the night 30 mins earlier. Cabbed home around 6plus am. Reached home, bathed and went to sleep @ 7.30am. 10hr 30mins of sleep is totally enough. Teeheee ;)

Worn out.

2010-02-11T16:18:00.003+08:00

Wowz, I'm totally worn out, feet sore and aching.

Start with yesterday. School and everything was normal, I stayed at home until evening and I went to Charlotte's crib. I missed my dearest baby so damn freaking much yknw, glad I finally met her! ;> A phone call came, and I whined that it's gonna be a long night. How right I was. Hahah. Anyway, shortly after, went down to meet Kheehao and Yongxian came when I planned to leave, but still, extended the time til 10.10pm then headed to Tamp inter meet Eunice & Fadong.

Cabbed down to boat quay with Eunice, meet Weichieh and Markus. Went 12 elements and started first, then Xiufang, Darren, Shane, (and idk who, forgotten?) came up, haha. Coincidence. Then Fadong & Bipin came. Eunice weichieh markus and i polished off our first bottle of martell, then all of us headed down. Talked to Fadong and smoothened the :@ that he was feeling

Went back up 12 elements to find Eunice, Xiufang, Weichieh, Markus, Shane, Darren and friend. They drank and I stared, lol. Didn't have the feel to drink anymore. So the rest of the night was used to take care of a drunkard who went around and kissed everyone, slacking outside Monalisa, going up to... Don't know what name?, walking around, and making out with reinie. LOL. more or less like that?

Dawn arrived soon, and headed to Bk to eat. After that, bussed to Kenneth's house with Reinie. Chatted, then fell asleep. Too tired, and after that homesweethome! Ahhhh, no matter how nice it is to sleep at other people's house, I feel that home is the beeeeeeeeeestest! ♥

Took some pics ystd, but it's with Weichieh, wait until he send me then i uploadddd!
*And I just remembered randomly. Mrs Loke said everytime she sees me, I would be hugging someone. LOL

Taste of her cherry chapstick.

2010-02-10T17:07:00.006+08:00

Say hi to Doraemon! ;> Danny gave it to me, cute much! But I want the pig one more though! Keke.

I like doing bird faces while taking pics nowadays, no idea why. Tired of smiling ahz!

School was kinda sleepy today. But during cme was damn joke!! We're required to built towers with blue tac and non-cooked spaghetti (you know, the before-cooked-noodle, hard yet brittle kind!), and the group that built the highest one wins. Enjoyed, and our group, (consisted of me, Hidayah, Vanessa and Chloe) actually took the whole packet of spaghetti from the teacher's table and used rope to tie it together. And we had no scissors, know what we used? Lighter. Burnt the rope and the whole classroom stank like mad. TEEHEE.

Whatever, I had fun. ;) Hope school has more of these nonsensical things for us to do, I'll be sure to attend 99%! ;>

The best thing is, waking up next to you.

2010-02-08T23:10:00.005+08:00

Hehehe, ystd night around 1plus, sneaked down to meet Weichieh. He passed me one box of panadols, and even though I've got phobias of pills, especially panadols, I still took 2. Well, walked and slacked around my area til around 6am, sent me back home, then he went home himself.

Got ready for school and all, and even though I didn't sleep a wink, I would be late if I took the bus. Luckily I went Tenaga and met Kheehao, Cqr and Yongxian by coincidence. Cabbed to sch with them, and was just in time. So, thanks guys :D

Slept throughout the whole day, excluding recess and chem. Did a lil notes for chem, copied for Danny too. Then, went down to accompany him to wait for Raj, and in the end? I myself had to wait for Raj too. -.- Tmr still need report to him after assembly, troublesome troublesome... I got so bloody pissed with some sentences he said, and I was throwing a mini tantrum. -_-"

Slacked @ mama for awhile, before heading to Peiwen's house with herself, Luke and Marcus. Prepared and off to Parkway, meet Samuel. Cabbed over to Cineleisure, walked abit, and sent Peiwen to her facial. Went back Cineleisure, met up with Samuel, Marcus, etc. Walked for abit, before taking the bus to Parkway, met Peiwen again, then went lan. See them play dota. Lol, so boring lah can! Loitered awhile, before cabbing back with Luke & Peiwen! Keke.

My cough's not getting any better, but overall I'm alright. Just stuck with blocked nose. Hope I'll get better soon! And... Seriously, all the misunderstanding, miscommunication and distrust has caused me to turn silent and tired of explaining myself. Everything I say, turns out to become an excuse in you people's eyes. So, what's the point of explaining myself?

Anyway, pictures are with Peiwen, wait til she sends me and I'll upload them :DD

Sick.

2010-02-07T22:21:00.002+08:00

Hilarious \m/

Father: Johnny, you have to learn to give and take.
Johnny: I know, Dad, I have just given Alex a punch on the face and taken all his money.
Father: !!!

AHAHAHAHAHA ZOMG.

and one more,
GMMMMMMMMM (God Made Man Man Made Math Math Made Man Mad).

Like totally (Y). Down with Blocked, runny nose. Sorethroat. Headache. Cough. Suckkkkkkkkks.

Because you gave me, you gave me your lips, a gentle kiss.

2010-02-06T15:38:00.004+08:00

This is something which happened in Japan , if I'm not wrong.

"A high-school girl [junko furuta] was abducted by four teenaged hooligans while she was on her way to work. They took her to the house of a friend, held her in his bedroom, and for the next forty-five days enacted every imaginable form of abuse on her (and some you wouldn’t want to imagine).
They gang-raped her—both with their own bodies and with an assortment of foreign objects—beat her, kicked her, doused her extremities with lighter fluid and set her on fire, and probably did many other things to her that went undocumented by either her tormentors or the police. They mocked her pain. They held her down and dropped barbells on her stomach.

This last bit of torture was more than she could withstand, and after going into convulsions she apparently either strangled on her own vomit or simply died from her beatings. When the boys were questioned later about why they didn’t do anything during her seizure, they replied, “We assumed she was faking it.”

"She tried to escape, more than once. The first time, she was caught in the process of making a phone call. The second time, she ran into the parents of the boy who lived there; apparently they had known all along what was gong on. She begged them to help her, but they refused; his friend had criminal connections, and they didn’t want to get into trouble, too.

After her death, they taped her arms and legs together, threw her into a 55-gallon drum, filled it with cement, and dumped it in an empty lot. The body wasn’t recovered until almost a year later. The ringleader of the whole incident served eight years in prison and is now a free man."

- although now the main culprit is back in jail in 2004 because of hitting a man.

these are the things she had to go through:

DAY 1: November 22, 1988: Kidnapped Kept captive in house, and posed as one of boy's girlfriend Forced to call her parents and tell them she had run away Starved and malnourished Fed cockroaches to eat and urine to drink Forced to masturbate Forced to strip in front of others Burned with cigarette lighters Foreign objects inserted into her **/anus

DAY 11: December 1, 1988: Severely beat up countless times Face held against concrete ground and jumped on Hands tied to ceiling and body used as a punching bag Nose filled with so much blood that she can only breath through her mouth Dumbbells dropped onto her stomach Vomited when tried to drink water (her stomach couldn't accept it) Tried to escape and punished by cigarette burning on arms Flammable liquid poured on her feet and legs, then lit on fire Bottle inserted into her anus, causing injury

DAY 20: December 10, 1988: Unable to walk properly due to severe leg burns Beat with bamboo sticks Fireworks inserted into anus and lit Hands smashed by weights and fingernails cracked Beaten with golf club Cigarettes inserted into ** Beaten with iron rods repeatedly Winter; forced outside to sleep in balcony Skewers of grilled chicken inserted into her ** and anus, causing bleeding

DAY 30: The suspects allegedly dripped hot wax onto Junko's face, burned her eyelids with a cigarette lighter, stabbed her with sewing needles in the chest area, cut and destroyed her left nipple with pliers, inserted a hot light bulb in her ** (as well as scissors), leading to more blood and a failure to urinate properly (the injuries being supposedly severe enough for Junko to require more than an hour to use the downstairs bathroom). On top of that, Junko's eardrums were ruined.

DAY 40: Begged her torturers to "kill her and get it over with"

January 1, 1989: Junko's body was allegedly mutilated and she was unable to move from the ground.

DAY 44: January 4, 1989: The four boys beat her mutilated body with an iron barbell. Then, lighter fluid was poured onto her legs, arms, face and stomach, and set on fire. Her body burned for a minute before the fire was put out. This torture lasted for two hours, and Junko died later in the day. "

Almost wanted to puke after reading this piece, it's so disgusting, and why torture her? Wtf. And currently they're out from jail already. Wtfwtfwtf ttm!? They should actually get a torture-then-death-sentence. And I doubt it's even enough for what they fuckin' did to her. Fuck you upside down.

Almost lover.

2010-02-05T13:52:00.004+08:00

Ystd, went to meet Charlotte, then Kenneth. Stayed over, and headed 2 mama this morning. Then bedok polyclinic, met until Jinxiang, haha! Finished all doctor-seeing, and Kenneth went off 2 meet his mum, while me and Jinxiang went macs wait for Jisong, hehe. Was super high la, don't know why. @@

Jisong came, went slack awhile, then off to 506 wait for Andy & Yongren! Keke, so long never see them, missed them fuckloads can?! Gave each of them a big hugggg, and I was still high. But Yongren's face is jitao :<>

Edit/
Time check: 6.51am.
Keke, just back! Yeah, back as in back home! :>
Welllllll. Went Yr house area & waited for him to finish preparing, and in the midst of waiting, Andy and I ran off to have an affair. HAHA, kidding lahz. We went meet Dongdong & headed to bank to do his POSB.

Aftermath, they headed to Bugis whilst I stayed back to wait for Yj to arrive, very long know anot?! But, he rushed down from Tiong under the rain, so forgivable. Keke. Accompanied him to 77th street to buy his beanie to hide his hair, went NTUC meet Vivian, then walked past Swensen's....

Yj: Isn't that Eunice?
Me: HUH, where, where!
Yj: Nor, at swensen's there!
Me: *Rushed over.

Hahah! I didn't know she was working @ the Tmall's branch lah! Chatted with her for quite awhile, before tagging along with Willy & friend to arcade. Saw Ian, Christopher and friend 2! ^^ Then, alot of ppl laa, don't rmb who's there. Shortly after, headed back down to Swensen's to chat with Eunice again, hahaha. Then... Headed to cs, meet Sabrina. Then after some stuff, headed to 100+ to drink. Drank one bottle only, and only a few mouths from the other bottle, wasted. :(

Went tmall fetch Eunice, ate. Her house, then off to boat quay. Around 2.45am then headed to Next Stop to drink. Drank like only 1 cup+ -.- Took care of 2 drunktards, keke! Cabbed back with Weichieh, lol. His treat, cuz I took care of him (more like accompany can!). Keke, so now I'm back home~ Tiredtired.

I know distance doesn't matter but you feel so far away.

2010-02-03T21:17:00.002+08:00

Hehex, I know this is like 100 years ago's pic, but who cares, it's to make my blog look not-so-dead! :(

Ystd was macs with Kenneth, Yongjun, Qunrong & Yiling. Did my dnt awhile, then lepaked all the way~ Homed around 8plus.

And as for 2day .... Came down the bus & was late already, stupid bus so slowz. Then I went mama to buy greentea, in the end skipped sch with Kenneth & Luke -_-" , LOL. Lepaked opp mama, then went off to tmall's mac meet Yongjun & Jinxiang. Headed to grandlink, l4d2 (Y). Was totally noobish but still managed to complete the game alrighty! ;O

Afterward I headed home 2 bathe and change, met up with Kenneth, bussed to mama meet the rest~ . Waited till Willy reached, then went back 2 tmall/cs, cus intended to watch movie, but then no timing. Walkwalk, and 6pm, Yj & Jx went off. Bussed to Damai and slackeddddd. Til 8plus and homed! ((:

Paper cuts.

2010-02-01T15:14:00.003+08:00

It's really irritating to wake up early in the morning and waiting for a stupid bus which comes every 20minutes.

SCHOOL WAS ALRIGHT, BUT SS TEST WASN'T! I AM GOING OUT TO STUDY FOR MY GEOG TEST ON WED NOW KEKEKE. BAI HUMANZ, XXXX.

Shall blog ltr, hehehehehe.

Edit:

Hi bitchies, I'm back! :>
It was real funny just now. Kenneth called me @ 3.45pm, asking me to go mac 15 minutes later. I said, "Okayokay."
... and know what? 25 minutes later, I called him and asked him where he was, and he replied with a "Reaching liaoz, faster come down!" , so I replied the same, "Okayokay".
10 minutes later, I called Yongjun and he told me he and Kenneth reached already. And I actually took my own sweet time, dillydallying and then going down mac to find them. HAHAHA!! Like zomg. Made me laugh like mad, and made my daddy think I was insane. Yawn :(

Reached, studied a lil. Yj was actually the one who asked me to go and study today, yet it seemed as though his butt had ants, @@. In the end, I gave up and fidgeted around too. Hehex. Went opp mac to slackz, Angela & boyfriend came 2. 8.10pm went offf!

Reached home, bathed. My sissy was using the comp, and I was so bored I started to call up people. Disturbed a lil and hanged, and so on. Hahahah. Plus when I wasn't on the phone, I was !$(%#&$^%(*& , made my sister get irritated and 1 hour later she gave me the comp ♥

Give you my all.

2010-01-31T21:06:00.003+08:00

Going round in circles, can't stand it. Why do I get miserable so easily? I'm supposed to be stronger than that.

I guess, it's cause i actually care too much.

Doesn't mean anything.

2010-01-31T00:36:00.007+08:00

I love going out with people that actually make me smile-- from my heart.

Well, cleaned my bookshelf today. After that, bathed and went to meet Fadong, Randy, Bipin and Birdbird. Eunice came afterwards, and Bipin and Randy went off. Slacked, and homesweethome @ 11.20pm.

Yawn, later on's Ian's baby sister's first month, gonna attend. And I get to meet charlotte 2! I miss her.

I feel afraid. The incident that happened years ago, it's floating in my mind recently. I can't seem to get it out from my mind completely. It slips from my mind, but it doesn't disappear. Where's a brainwashing machine when I need one?

2010-01-30T08:23:00.001+08:00

Traumatized.

I've given every breath I've got.

2010-01-29T15:17:00.010+08:00

I'm soooo bloody bored right now. I don't know if I should go chalet & drink later? Gosh, wondering. I'm really lazy to prepare y'knw!! But I'll be wasting my friday night away if I don't go. But tmr's spring cleaning, and I'll need my energy to do that. I feel like drinking 2. So howhowhow? :( I mizz m0ii phone so muchz. Snort.

I really don't feel myself. I feel all weird and prickly. What's wrong with me? I've been so up and down lately, it scares me. Heart's been feeling weird too.
From suddenly throwing a tantrum, to suddenly crying with the thoughts of suicide for no particular fucking reason, to suddenly being super high and acting as if everything was normal (ok it kinda is -.-) and laughing, or to actually suddenly being quiet and think about everything and anything.

I don't normally do my work, I don't normally design my journals or whatsoever. But ystd, during class, I already had an inspiration on what I wanna do with my journal, and already thought of my design. Normally I'd just put it off and fuck care, but I just had the urge to decorate my english journal and i friggin spent the whole afternoon and half my night doing it. Totally wtf.

But one thing still remains the same though. I can't just sit still and listen during maths. I'll just be doodling or doing something else. Though, surprisingly, during SS today, I was copying down notes. English compo was alright, I hope. Then Mr Wong didn't come for physics. Couldn't report sick during recess cuz Dongdong wasn't up yet. Yeahhh, it's more or less my day. And how did I even jump from boring > feeling weird > throwing tantrums etc > English journal decorating > Class > School? There must be something wrong with me. Yawn.

I miss my baby. I know I always say how much I hate him bcuz of how laggy he is, but then I still ♥ him very muchhii3zx!! >: When r u coming back 2 m0iiz!!

If One day you feel like crying,
Call me.
I don't promise that I will make you laugh,
But I can cry with you.

If one day you want to run away,
Don't be afraid to call me.
I don't promise to ask you to stop,
But I can run with you.

If one day you don't want to listen to anyone,
Call me.
I promise to be there for you,
and I promise to be very quiet.

But if one day you call me,
And there is no answer,
Come fast to see me.
Perhaps I need you.

How cuteee. Got it from Kheehao's blogz. Wootwoot. My baby called me but I never answer, faster come find me lahhhhhhh~

Edit:

Know what? Fuck you, and FML. Honestly, I'm at my limits. Alright, he knows I'm going out tonight, and coming home tmr afternoon. And tmr's my spring cleaning. I know that already. Yeah, I planned to come home tmr afternoon and tidy everything up, once and for all. I'm sick of my messy room, and spring cleaning's the only way I can clear everything up. So stop saying I'm gonna shove everything in a drawer or something. I know I used to do that, used to. I'm trying to change right? I'm trying to come to a point where you can accept me, and a point that I can still do what I want. And I know you want me to change too. So why the fuck are you even discouraging me? Wtf. I've really had enough. I tell you some factual stuff, you say it's an excuse. I say it's not an excuse, you ask me to stop talking back. Fadong once told me, "your parents treat you so good, then why you so (something) to them?" something like that. I can understand from his point of view. My parents do treat me good. At times. But other times like this, it's so unreasonable. And yeah, my mom came home, my dad told her, she come and !#(%$&$&^%*& me. I'm already feeling so !$&^(#%&($ , trying to cope with school, and you guys just keep piling the problem up. I go to school, I listen during some classes, I do my some of my work. It's already good enough for now. It's already so much better than not going school, and even if I did go to school, sleep in all classes and do shit. I'm so fucking stressed right now, can you even fucking understand that? I know you guys are stresser, since you've got a family to raise, got to tolerate my tantrums, tolerate my sister's tantrums, everything with work, and blahblah. But for me right now, it's already stressful enough. If other things start piling up, my brain's gonna burst.

Sorry for the sudden outburst. I couldn't contain it any longer. kbye.

And this will be the first time that I'm weak.

2010-01-28T17:15:00.003+08:00

School was mundane, as usual. Tmr's english compo test, hope I'll do okay. After school, waited for Shihui to finish her work, then headed down to mama. Lepaked abit, homed. No lifeeeeee. I want my phone and my life back please. :(
I'm missing so many people right now, gosh.

I don't feel quite myself recently, I don't know why. I'm having weird moodswings, and I don't like it. I feel empty inside, nauseous at times (am not pregnant tyvm). Fickle-minded (k i know i always am). Dizzy/headache. Omfg wth is wrong with me.

Please understand.

2010-01-27T21:19:00.005+08:00

School was endlessly boring as usual. English was ♥. Full of laughter, hilarious.

After school, slacked @ mama til around 4plus pm, then went tmall with Kenneth, Yongjun, Jinxiang, Jingsheng, Weijie, Francis and Dexter. Movie> Spy next door again. Middle of the movie, was having a headache. After movie, walkwalk around T1, then went starbucks lepak, and went home. Thx kenneth for sending me home, cuz my headache was getting from bad to worse. Reached home, I was already half dead. Yawns, I'm going to go and get some desperately-needed-sleep.

Not sure if I'm going school tmr, see how my slight fever, headache and cough (and occassional sneezing) goes. Baibaiz. ♥

My dad rocks lor, got DSLR already, don't want let me use, nevermind. But then, go buy new phone and show it to me, plus the camera's good. PURPOSELY ONE LOR!!! Roarrrr. iie miizz muaii ph0nii3z :(

Hello there, the angel from my nightmare.

2010-01-26T21:06:00.004+08:00

School was alright. Except mother tongue. It was hilarious. At first, I snatched Kenneth's writing paper and pen, and wrote some stupid stuff like "Hi I'm emilia", then I started drawing him and labelled him (Like, Housefly, blahblah), and you should've seen the tatt we drew on the drawing! We both laughed like there's no tmr, and I laughed til my stomach ached and my eyes welled up with tears. In the end, I got a "Very Distruptive" on my monitoring file and got the file thrown at me by the bunny rabbit teacher. Arghz!!

Who gives. Went mama and lepaked awhile, before proceeding home. Ate and bathed, and was using halfway when daddy suddenly burst through the door and asked me excitedly if I wanted to go watch Avatar 3d. (my dad was being cute. he told me, "go watch lah, free one leh!" and i really thought it was free, like some lucky draw winning or smth. so was like, "huh, why free." and know what's his ans? "cause i pay one mah." -.- LOL) Okay, I know I'm like, extremely slow cause I've not yet watched it. Had reasons okay!! Humph. Okay, I wasn't really in the mood to move around, but went anyway. Quickly went to prepare and such, and went town to watch. It was awesome. I was having a fantasy during the movie, like, how I wished Avatars existed and I was actually one. LOLOL, don't laugh. I've no idea why I shared this little fantasy but, hehez. Wished it was true.

Went to eat Ajisen Ramen after the movie. Delish !♥ was pretty full and bloated after the dinner. :@ Fats. Went home and here I ammmmmmm.
And last night, I actually wanted to go town today, it was just a random thought. In the end? I went. LOL.

Edit:

Hehe, was talking to Kenneth on msn, and somehow I wasn't feeling quite myself that moment, was feeling abit blue, and he drew and made me laugh! :B

Honoured notz.:>

EMILIAEMELYNE says:
*LOLLLLLLLLL! AT LEAST I GOT NEHNEH. LOL!
*I no inspiration to draw liao lahhh
K.ennethT - says:
*LOL ?
*That one is fake one that i placed for you on the outside !
EMILIAEMELYNE says:
*Uhmuhm ): SO MEAN.
K.ennethT - says:
*Jokingz laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ! Hehe , Brb 5 minz smoke break .
*Then i come back draw more of you .

AWWW, hahaa. How sweetz. But, too bad. I gotta go as, 1) Sister wanna use. 2) I wanna sleep alr. HAHAHA.

Heart hooked onto your smile.

2010-01-26T06:41:00.004+08:00

LOL! (Y)

I'll update for ystd! Hehez.

Went to school as per normal, and I realised I went a lil too early ._. Aaaah, nevermind. School went as per normal, but I slept in multiple lessons, oops. But my subject teachers were kind enough not to mention anything about that in my monitering file. (Y)

After school, I was searching for Peiwen, as she didn't pick up her calls. In the end found her still inside her classroom, not yet dismissed. HAHAH. Okay, after her class dismissed, headed down to mama with Luke. Met up with Yongjun, stayed there for awhile, before all 3 of us (me, Peiwen, Yongjun) proceeded to Peiwen's house.

Prepared and got ready, Luke came over too. Left around 4/5pm. Cabbed down to Luke's grandma's, and then bussed to MP Library. Went bballcourt for awhile, before heading down to the kids floor to do a lil bit of studying, before heading back up to the bballcourt. HAHA. Slacked, then sent Yj down for cab, then went pool, and from around 9.30pm, l4d2 til 11.30pm. LOLLLL.

I wasn't having any fun being the infected, because I was fresh at it, and furthermore I was playing a map that I haven't played before. So i always got killed. :( Luke's friend, uhm... Jingzhou? If I'm not wrong, was helping me play Hunter most of the time, cuz I was totally noobish at it. HEHEZ. Well, ended mine & Peiwen's game as we had to rush home so we cabbed back home. Wootwoot!

The medicine to cure my pain.

2010-01-25T06:21:00.003+08:00

I'm up for school already.
I want my phone back.

Okay, I'm gonna go get ready for school already.
I'm...confused.

Unspoken thoughts.

2010-01-24T14:29:00.003+08:00

Do you know how much it sucks?

2 nights ago, went down to meet Yongjun, Jinxiang and Jisong. Went to buy alcohol and went carpark's rooftop to slack & drink. After that, headed to East coast for a while, before proceeding to Yongjun's hse.

Slept til around 12pm, then I got nagged by his mom :( After that, headed home. Bathed and such, was rushing kay, since some people don't like waiting. And he only waited for 41minutes!! Roarrrrr. And for nothing i owed him 11 bites. -_-
(By yj: she owes me 11 bites cause she said 30 minutes and came down 11 mintues later. So, 11 bites.)

Lolol, then bussed down to tamp inter, meet Fadong!♥ So long never see him already.~ And his botak hair, hahaha! :x Alrightalright, meet him awhile, he went find Randy then me and Yongjun went Changi. Walkwalk, then went beach, see yellow egg yolk go down. But too bright so didn't really see anything anyway. Aftermath went buy Chivas, and headed to Kenneth's.

Waited until Jinxiang, Maomao and Bernard came, then started drinking. Didn't really drink much, didn't felt like drinking. Around 2am, cabbed down to Terence's, nua-ed there until 4plus? Then cabbed to Yj's house. Slept until 1.30pm and woke up. Just finished eating my wanton mee. \m/

You took my hand and pulled me through.

2010-01-22T10:48:00.003+08:00

I'm feeling kinda miserable. All because of my phone. I fell asleep around 5.30am, and woke up around 6, first thing was to take my phone, and I couldn't find it. Turned out my dad confiscated it, due to the time I reached home the previous night.

I know it sounds stupid, but I cried because of my phone. It contained too much important memories; pictures I had in my comp (which were like, all deleted by my dad) some stored in my phone. Text messages, ...

I've grown so attached to my phone that I didn't even realise. I constantly felt like throwing it away cuz the smses were bugging me. But now it's been confiscated for an indefinite amount of time.. Well, I feel like a part of me's been torn. My phone's like my.. Like, just a part of me.

Yepz, it's just a very dumb feeling of mine. Consequences.. I'll bear it. I just hope my dad'll return my phone back soon. Xx.

Didn't went to school, and yes, it's because I was busy talking (it wasn't really talking, yet not quarrelling, not begging nor pleading) to my dad about my phone. And by the time I was half ready to go to school, it's 10.30am. What's the use of going school when I'll reach around 11, and sch ends at 12.30pm, and I can't even contact anyone? So am gonna stay home the whole day and do my homework. Hopefully, .......

But what if you meant the world to me?

2010-01-22T04:21:00.004+08:00

What if? So many questions unanswered.

Okay, I'm actually posting from yesterday.

School was alright, and dnt was entertaining. Fun, laughters, breaktimes, blahblah. (L) I think I'm gonna enjoy the rest of the year, and I'm gonna try to be creative and think of new product ideas (yeah right). Hopefully next year my dnt teacher's the same. *fingers crossed.

Welllll.. After school, mama for a lil while before bussing home with Claire and Kheehao. Homed, took my time, bathed and prepared. Then, headed out to meet Yongjun. Supposed to meet @ 4, then changed til 4.30. Then, I knew I couldn't make it in time, so delayed til 5/5.30. In the end? Met @ 5.45pm -.- HAHAH. Went cs to buy tixs for Tooth Fairy, and walked around. 7.10pm, went in cinema, watched. Wasn't that bad, for me, some parts are kinda funny.

Movie finished, and I was feeling normal, warm. While Yongjun was feeling cold and shivering. HAHAHA!!! Went out, and he was still shivering, funny much? Was kinda warm with a lil breeze only y'knw!! Well, bussed to 100+, and drank. H2h, and then we cabbed to Pasir ris park. Walked around, and then walked to downtown mac. Fell asleep there unknowingly. -.-

After a while, cabbed to Bedok reservoir jetty. Stayed there for a lil while, then his mom fetched me home, and I'm eating maggie mee right now. Hahahaha. I'm tired though. Yawns.

Stay with me.

2010-01-20T23:16:00.003+08:00

Life loved you being part of it, and I loved you being part of me.

School's pretty boring. But it's troublesome to have to pass up the monitoring file everytime a lesson ends. I've still not yet completed 1-and-a-half-page of "I must remember to bring my pe on pe lessons" for Mr Quek. Guess you can guess it, yeah, I didn't wear my pe yesterday. Need to pass it up tmr or it's 2-and-a-half-more-pages! Aww. Anyway, it's been tiring. Now I remember why I don't like going to school. It's the waking up early, and the sleepyness during class times. How I wish I could go out to work part time with the rest. But, I've made this decision, and I'm going to stick to it. Am not going to be fickle-minded!!

I'm so tired, and yet I don't want, don't feel like sleeping. Tmr it's gonna be another looong day in school, trying not to sleep and such.

Last but not least, I'm doing this because someone, asked me to do so. If not he'll be :(. And basically, I don't like seeing people sad, so...
Yongjun is a very cute boy. Okay? He said he'll find my blog, heh. Let you find lor! Still Ahemahem. TSKKKKK!

To my dearest someone (you know who you're), what lies they've been spreading, whether it's true or not, I can see it with my own eyes, and I'll believe what I'm gonna believe. To say the truth, I was kinda disappointed with you at first. And I was disappointed that I was kept in the dark. But putting myself in your shoes... I understood why, and I realised how much it must've hurt you. It was just a silly mistake, and I'm sure they've enough brains to think for themselves. They don't realise whatever they've been doing has been hurting you. So my dearest, no matter how disappointed I am with you, no matter what lies they've been spreading, you know I'll always love you, and I'll always be here for you. ♥

Oh yeah, and I've changed my msn already! Plz add moiz, emelia-emelyne@hotmail.com

Your so hot that I would've melted even if I stood 10 miles away from you.

2010-01-19T23:42:00.003+08:00

With the last breath you take in.

School was alright for me. Except pe, why did the sun have to shine so brightly?! It made me sweaty and sticky for the whole day. Disgusting. After school slacked at mama for awhile, before proceeding to marine parade with Peiwen and Luke, t-net meet up with (overgrown) Marcus, then Leticia came, met up with some other Luke's friends, library for a lil studying (intended to. well, you guessed it. i didn't) and above library for basketball, then off to walkwalk, basketball court, and finally L4d2!! :b ages since i last played it. ♥

Went home with Luke's friend, Jingzhou? He cabbed me home. So i actually reached home in a jiffy (Y)

Monster ♥

2010-01-18T21:09:00.002+08:00

I went to school today. I was late though. Reached school at 9am. Before going school i went to eat my late breakfast as my stomach was growling. Reported to general office, and I was asked to sit down. Stoned for awhile before Mrs Tan came. Had my counselling session and stayed in the library to do some reading. Went for my recess with my girls (how much I've missed all of them. And i really miss 2e4 so much.)

Finished recess, it was my silent period again @@. Stoned @ library and read Chicken soup. Borrowed 3 books on it, hardworking? ^^ Welll... After sch was 7 11 with Leticia, and back to school, meeting with VP & co. After that, bought books and off to charlotte's! ^^ Bryan was already there though. Watched teev awhile before proceeding to walk to Ian's. His baby sister and lil sister are so cute! ♥

Alright. Ate dinner round 1 (round2 is at my house) at his place. Went down to slack for awhile, til 8.30pm, then homesweethome.~ My arms were aching from the books i had to carry. Sad much? :/

And, i'll try my very best not to let down people again. I feel so good knowing that they still care. ♥♥♥

Enough.

2010-01-17T19:43:00.003+08:00

And I know that its complicated
But I'm a loser in love
So baby raise a glass to mend
All the broken hearts
Of all my wrecked up friends

Yesterday isn't some very nice day. It's like... scold-me-day. Kind of? Went out with Fadong Yongren Eunice Andy Aloy. Explored the bigbig drain in the canal, then eunice and i left them around evening time.

At night was mahjong + drinking + cards + scissors paper stone + 5-10 with Kenneth and Yongjun. Hahah! Had quite a night, lolol.

Haiz, all my pics gone -.- WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!! (kpkb)

Fucked up.

2010-01-16T11:45:00.004+08:00

Fuck you fuck you fuck you bitch. Yes, to no end. I've had enough.

Don't blame me for breaking down our bedroom door ^^ you forced me into doing so~

Sore.

2010-01-15T23:57:00.003+08:00

Don't ask wtf we're doing. It was just a random thought and there goes the pix!!

Why is it that this season, everyone's getting sick/get kicked out of house/run home?! !*^#*(%^&#*)
But, I'm only in the first category. I'm getting sick, sigh.. Eunice, Andy, my sister, my mum& dad (cough), and now me. Haizxc.

Went out in the morning, to meet Eunice, Fadong and Yongren. Met Eunice's friend (Sharon?), and off to Changi for their interview. Stayed there til around 2pm before heading back to tampines. Watched movie, The Spy Next Door or something? Don't know la, laugh at stupid parts when noone's laughing. Well, i just felt like laughing :p

After that slacked around for awhile, before heading to Ikea to eat hotdogs (L), nice ttm. After eating went explore. And ended at some stupid room, the bed was so comfy Yongren fell asleep on it -.- LOL. Went back tampines, and bussed home~ Just made myself some warm milo before i used the comp. But now it's cold, sigh!!

I miss you, how.

I'm tired of hearing you say you're innocent.

2010-01-14T14:17:00.003+08:00

Just woke up from a 2hr+ sleep @ Andy's. And when i woke up, i see none of them (Fadong,Andy,Yongren) at all :O Not even his mum.

I've got pictures to upload, but i don't have cable right now, so i'll upload next time :)
K, shall end here. Tags ,still lazy reply. Sorry!!

It's the simple things you do.

2010-01-10T21:51:00.003+08:00

After that post awhile, went to Fadong's house. 11.20pm like that, bussed to charlotte's house. Bryan, Ian and Christopher were already there. They even bought 2 small chocolate cake for her. Sweet much? Slacked, and i went up charlotte's house alone, cus i was feeling cold at the playground. Fell asleep at her sofa while watching tv.

Woke up next morning, watched tv, prepared and off to meet Fadong, Andy and Yongren @ Whitesands. Ate burger king, then waited for Eunice to arrive. Trained to town after that, 313 walkwalk, see Fadong and one small kid playing xbox! Cute, hehe. Then walkwalk, slackslack. Went to eat with Charlotte and Eunice. Then headed to toilet to camwhore -.- Inside for over an hour, can you believe it?!

After that, went find kenneth. Stupid asshole hor! Then, met with eunice and went Fadong house. 4 plus, me and eunice went meet Francis, Jiajun and Kelvin. Drink drank drunk. I woke up realising i'm at amk. From tamp to amk -.- Bussed home and met Yongren. He came up my house for like, 5 hours. HAHA. And how lucky, comp spoilt again. -'- Went meet eunice at bedok inter, then met dean. Bought bubbletea and fried carrot cake. (Y) Then bussed to Andy's house and here i am :D ok lol. bye. I blogged cus i was bored. I very lazy reply tags. Will reply when i feel like it :b

For you alone.

2010-01-08T19:13:00.003+08:00

Hah, a show. Wow, you were able to put on such a great going-to-3-months show. Need a clap?^^ Why do you even need to put up one? To show people you've become "faithful"? Why me? Why do you even pretend to give a fuck, endure my attitude, tantrums and such? Wait for me for 3 whole fucking hours doing nothing, coming down with what i want?
zz, well. screwyou.

Hmm.. I don't remember what i've been doing the past 2 days. All i know is that last night was a total ZZZ night for me.
Nothing much to say actually. You get disappointed with people, you get pissed off, you get upset, and all those memories and hardships you've gone through flashes at the back of your mind, and you feel even more upset. That's part of life. We'll all get over it. And i'm not talking only about one person.

Wellllllllllllll.. I'm really lazy to blog anymore.

Happy birthday Charlotte, my dearest baby!
Well, thanks love. For almost always being there when i needed someone. For the patience you've given me. *Laughs. I'm sorry it wasn't a very enjoyable birthday today. I'm tired y'see :( But anyway, you do realise i love you without even me writing it here right? ^^ Muackz!

Tags replied.

2010-01-06T00:23:00.002+08:00

Update at the post below! :)

iiWantChupChiu: Regarding 5 Jan post , heard of a chinese saying dear girl ? 吃不到葡萄讲葡萄酸 !
Huh, don't understand O:

Andy: My hair kena caught ! Now damn short !!!!!!!
HAHAHA can grow back one, don't worry! ^^

Passby: hi just curious, is the piercings real 1?
Hahah, no it's not! ^^

Jolvest: You better come tomorrow, or...... I KILL YOU! :X
Hahah, you can kill me mehz!!

miki:): thought u sorted it through? be happy luhs k?! (: smile
I've really really sorted out everything already, heh. Thx! :)

nameless: Heyhey, did you skip school today?
Why do you ask ^^

loyal reader me :D: thru the pics , can see you changed alot . HAHA . i think your latest post is dam meaningful , it gives your readers an overview of your life ;D
loyal reader me :D: wow , your life stories , written in words . NICE . read everything like a loyal reader should do ^^
Laughs, thankyou for reading ? :O well, i guess you can say tht i've changed alot . Nah, it's not meaningful!

Anonymous: Your post are interesting. A new year, a new start. Cheerup :D
Hahah, thanks. I'm already cheered up,sweet :)

Passerby: just curious , wad age u start to put make-up all that ? like eyeliner/foundation etc ? o_O
Hmm, 13 end of the year :)

Sarahh,: It's june (:
Sarahh,: Lololllllllll,why got my face!!
Hahah! Got your face need have reason one meh! Ooh, i see . Hehe, I forgotten :/

sinyi: view and tag :)
hehe thx ;b

Vivi Vivian ♥: takecare ok *
Vivi Vivian ♥: I saw my ugly pic. :( School reopening real soon, less meet up alrd. Sian. ): I'll miss you. Takecar
Hahah, it's not ugly la. :) Hahaha, of course you'll miss me! ^^ you tc too!

Zichanq: link me if you rmb ._. @ www.im-enough.blogspot.com :D thnks .
Zichanq: remenber me ? Yaaaaa~ ?
Yeah, i remember you :) Okay, linked.

Chanel Amanda: Hahah, omfg, I was browsing all the photos in the latest post. Things really pass damn quickly....
Yeah, it does bring back memories right. :/

Kenneth.T: Heres your sugar , spice and everything nice to create powerpuff girlz and alot of sweetz !
You're an asshole for tricking me yknw!

Louis <3>: hey sweetie :D happy new year :D tagged :D
Thank you :)

loyalreader: and uh, happy new year?i'm sure many wished you that, and they'd want you to be HAPPY, so yeah. (:
loyalreader: obstacles but you'll just need to grow stronger and pick yourself up alright?
loyalreader: you're still young & life has much more to be discovered. many nice things (: yeah, life has many

loyalreader: hey sweety, i don't know much but give yourself time, everything will be fine, YOU're gonna be fine.
Hahah, thanks love :)

Falling apart to parts.

2010-01-05T15:15:00.006+08:00

Mine and Andy's "piercings". Hehehez (Pic2)

Gonna do a quickie ^^
So last night stayed over at Andy's house tgt with Fadong. Had a difficult time sleeping, kept waking up after about an hour. Morning, me and Fadong sent Andy to school, then lepaked at open plaza. Yongren, Dean and Joanne came to find us. Deborah came awhile later. Macs, opp tamp, and home! Meeting Fadong and Bipin later on. Hehez. Gonna go bathe naoz, byebye! :)

With Alex and Charlotte :) 2010 countdown.

Honestly speaking, you're such a disgrace. No matter how you try to hide it, it's never gonna cover up. Your arrogance is sickening. After so many times, you've still not changed. At least i was able to change. I wasn't the one who didn't cherish. (ok well i admit i didn't really cherish hehez) But you were the one who didn't cherish anything.

(Edit)
Met Fadong, Eunice, Randy and Bipin @ Kallang mrt. Trained down to Bugis, the train staff were being very -'-, i swear! :( Bully us. Wasted fucking loads of our time, assholes >: Walked to sunshine plaza for Bipin's tatt. Went Bugis street > Iluma > Sunshine plaza (Bipin finished his tatt) > Bugis street. Then home! Gosh, so long never take backpack , making my shoulders ache like mad! And my feet are growing blisters from nothing, wtf ttm!

I've got so much to dedicate to my dear brother but then..... He's not able to see it, plus it's abit weird to say here ah. But anyway, DON'T WORRY & DON'T THINK TOO MUCH !!

I've really fallen for you, that's why everything hurts 100x more.

2010-01-04T14:06:00.002+08:00

Past 2nd night spent it at charlotte's crib. Before that went to meet Aaron and Bryan at petal, then Ian came to meet us abit later. Slacked at charlotte's crib at night, stayed over. Slept at 5.30am, woke up at 12pm, intended to head to hq with eunice the rest, but that pig still haven't woke up. So stoned and watched tv.

Bussed to pasir ris inter, she did her ezlink card then went to meet fadong, andy, dean, yongren, aloy, randy and bipin. Met up with Randy's family then headed to the bbq pit. Then Cherry, Junwei & friend came over. Then, fetched Charlotte go take cab, bought back to the bbq a 1.5 litre of green tea. Eunice and Jessica was already there.

Hahah, drank a lil, Eunice and Bipin down there high like mad people. Super funny. H2h talks with Eunice, Jessica, Fadong and Andy last night. (L)
I'm really glad to have things all talked out and folded out. :)

Well, in the end at night left only me, Andy, Fadong, Yongren, Eunice, Bipin, Randy & all their malay/indian friends. Hahah, cake smashing sessions left us all smelling chocolatey/vomity(they claimed it smelt like vomit), oily, and blahblah. Got shampoo and facial foams for our hair and face. Went 7-11 with Andy, Fadong and Eunice. Yongren came awhile later. Bought cup noodles and got free curry puffs! Cool right, hahah. The 7-11 guy gave us free :O But we eat until damn messy. Hahah.

Well, went back to the bbq pit. On the way a lil of ghostly sightings -_-" , then just lepak all the way til morning, accompanied Eunice home tgt with Fadong Andy and Yongren. While waiting for her we're damn cute, hahah. Piercing siao's :> Now i feel like piercing labret, like nice only, but thinking about it ah ..

Bussed to Tamp stadium, the 7-11 woman was damn -'- ttm. Then, went Coffee&Toast to have our halfboiled eggs. Then proceeded to National Library for my sleep til 1pm. I cannot tahan already ah :( after waking up, Eunice went to meet her friend, while me, Fadong and Andy cabbed to Andy's house :> Currently @ his house, just finished one scoop of macoroni(sp) and about 1 mug of green tea. I'm feeling kinda bloated, don't know why. :/

Hehheh, i'm gonna get my beauty sleep for awhile now. Omgz i don't wanna go to schooooooool :( Still super holiday mood, not yet bought my new school shoes, no books still, and everything .. AIYO .

Reminisce.

2010-01-01T23:44:00.014+08:00

(12.44AM)

Thinking of past.. Everyday seems so slow, but when looking back, everything seems to have happened so fast.

(A few weeks before PSLE, CharlotteLum's house.

Me, Joy, Siyi, CharlotteLum

Oct/Sept 07?)

I went through Primary 1-6 like a normal kid, going home after school, lying to parents etc., going home before 7 everyday, seldom goes out, and such. Neoprints taken and such, i've got them all in my drawer :>
And Pri 5, laughs* was the suckiest year ever, yet the most amusing. Right, charlotte? ^^

(24th Dec 08. CharlotteLim's house)

And especially during Pri 6, me and charlotte were like super anti-smokers all those. But look at us now, lol. And i didn't even knew clubs and night lifes existed. Seriously. I couldn't stay overnights, and i wanted so much to stay overnight at people's place, having a girly night, all those.

Plus i didn't really study for PSLE, just played and such. I got 208 for my results, and i was so afraid of showing it to my dad, afraid he would scold me. And upon getting my results, i cried. Super retarded. Laughs.

(News paper collection day.

Pic1: Samuel & I :>

Pic 2: Me, Miss Lee, Leticia, Claire and Eileen)

So when it was the time to choose schools, i didn't know what to choose. So i chose Damai, plus i kinda liked the uniform at that time (now i don't really think the uniform's nice, but i heard Damai changed uniform til very ugly, eew!) so i entered Damai.

(Pic1:Feroz and i,

Pic2: at charlotte's house.

both around march/apr 09?)

Was really excited to enroll in secondary school, excited about the new environment, yet nervous at the same time. Orientation camp was kinda fun, but i'd forgotten to bring my sleeping bag, so i shared sleeping bags with Farah , if i'm not wrong? Laughs. Then we started our actual schooling. I was sitting together with Leticia, then Mr Sheikh shifted us behind Eileen and Sophia. And from that day onwards, Leticia, Eileen, Sophia, Claire, Kengyun and I became a clique. Having them as friends really brightened the atmosphere. Eileen always spouted nonsensical stuff that makes people laugh, Leticia always being high, and such... In between the whole sec1 year, there were disagreements, dislike growing inside each of us, and such. We've separated, and yet we still all managed to get together again. Plus, i've only skipped schools like twice during sec1 !! Shocked much? :>

(the period of time when i was close with peiwen & huiting. may 09?)

Then December holidays came. I didn't go out as much, but i still did went out. Was constantly with Charlotte, Fiona and Nicole. Met some new people which i didn't really keep in touch with, and blahblah.

(Pic1:first day i wento sch after june hols, with leti.
Pic2: 1 day aft highlighting hair with lotte. June 09)

19th Nov, went for Kenneth's birthday. At night drank chivas, and that was the first time i drank. Lol. I got kinda drunk but not to the extent of puking my stomach out. They went katong play pool, and i just sat there. Was shivering like fuck. Then, a few days later, 1st Dec or something? I went pasir ris park to drink with Fiona, Nicole, the rest. Got drnk and puked countless of times. Had my very first hangover the next day. Then, i had my first club event on the 24th december. Can't say it was fun or whatever, since it wasn't a proper club and such. Left around midnight, and we had nowhere in mind to go to. But anyway, went to Queenstown with Ahboi and Siqiang? And that was the first time i stepped into Daniel's house. And the first time i met Jason, Kenny, Donovan, Daniel, Feroz, Valerie, the rest. Hahaha. Was kinda awkward though.

(Pic1: Bus with charlotte to cine.

Pic2: Near end of june hols, with amanda.

Both june 09)

Continued meeting Kenny and Jason for quite awhile, frequented Daniel's place after school / when skipped schools and such. I tonned frequently without informing my parents, picked up smoking and such. I knew Joanne during, April, i guess? June holidays was the peak. I ran home for quite awhile, and stayed at Dan's place. I got to know Amanda and Vernis and the rest (Simon, etcetc.) After june holidays, I had counselling (or was it before? Don't remember), started skipping school more often, and such. September holidays came, and for that one whole week i stayed over at Daniel's, at his farrer park house. 25th Sept, i was able to go Gwen stefani's live thingy, since my sister had an extra tix. But i promised Joanne i would go to her mum's birthday celebration. And i met him and the rest that day..

(Pic1: At dan's queenstown hse with charlotte and amanda, before going st james

Pic2: The Arena, 15 June, one day before my bday^^)

And then, the date for Dan to leave for Australia came. Skipped school that day, and met Kenny, Daniel and Amanda at town that day. Went shokudo (?) to eat, and was super full. After that Qinbao came, and we fetched you to the Airport.. The moment i stepped into T3, the reality of your departure struck me. Picture taking time and such, and watched you until your silhouette isn't even in sight, then left.. After that, during oct, i met Fadong the rest. Started hanging out with them. Got together with J on 19th nov. And me, quarreling even about the slightest things possible, not cherishing, and such. And it's like ,ended on 16 Dec -.-

(Pic1: Class bbq june09, with claire.

Pic2: Dan and i, at his farrer park hse, sept 09.)

And now, december.. Lots of things have been happening, meeting more people, and currently, i think now's the down-est period of my life. Confusions, misplaced trust, lies, truth, everything all merged together, and now my life's a big black gloop of mess.

Most pix are 2009, but still got a few from 07 and 08! see how much difference ? :/

(Pic1: Leti's birthday celebration. May 09

Pic2: Class bbq june 09)

(Pic1: My sis and i,

Pic2: Mel and i.

24 dec 09, boatquay)

(Both pic: With waldina, dec 09)

(Pic1: with charlotte and joanne after joanne's work outside cine

Pic2: Amanda and i at wavehouse 28 dec 09)

(both pics: wave house with joanne and charlotte, 28 dec 09)

(Pic1: Wavehouse with amanda 28 dec 09,

Pic2: Mr Sheikh's wedding day, with Zafirah)

(Pic1: Vivo's bridge with Amanda, before going wavehouse 28dec 09

Pic2: Sheikh's wedding with Claire)

(Pic 1-4: Sheikh's wedding.

Claire and Leti x2,

Claire, Eileen, Leticia, Dionne, Kengyun, Sophia and i

Claire)

(With Jiekai, Nov 09)

(Stayed over @ Joanne's. Oct 09[?])

(Dan's departure,

Pic1: Airport,

Pic2: Shokudo? 30/31 sept 09)

(Pic1: with charlotte outside taka, June 09

Pic2: Dec hols 07, parkway with charlotte)

(Pic1: 16 Nov, clarke quay with Vivian

Pic2: Zoo outing with claire eileen leticia kengyun and dionne. Oct 09)

(Zoo outing with Leti, Eileen, Kengyun, Claire, Dionne

Oct 09)

(Half-class pix

aug 08, )

(Pic1: With peiwen @ open plaza, tamp. sept 09

Pic2: Tmall's toilet with Dionne. aug/sept 09)

(With peiwen , open plaza @ tamp. sept 09)

(Pic1: With kenny

Pic2: With jason

both pics outside fareast, may 09?)

(Both pix with Joanne.

Pic1: @ petal, may/june 09?

Pic2: july/aug 09?, fadong hse playground)

(With Sarah, apr 09?)

(/3.57AM)

Words are bullets and they shoot as well as any gun.

2010-01-01T08:17:00.006+08:00

Hey people. It's been a sucky year start for me and it's only 8.19am right now.
Tamp > Bedok > Tamp > Pasir ris.

Nth much to update. Drank Jim Bean, but 1 bottle and 1 listerine-sized bottle isn't enough for 9 people, Lol.. But anyway, congrats Birdbird! :) Happy boy.

_____

Well.. Just to say honestly, your that one word text was really powered enough to pierce through my heart. I don't know what i can say, but i honestly didn't know. How could i know when i was already so tired, and slept so little the day before? You should know what i'm like. Or maybe you don't. I don't know. I don't know anything anymore, seriously. Life's been so shitty for me till the extent that i really want to end my life. Yeah, i know that's what everyone say. But my mind's been going round in circles, ending up at the same point everytime: You.

I doubt you care, and i really feel that i don't know you anymore. Every little shred of hope i've been holding on, all torn. I'm so afraid to go to sleep now, i don't want to have nightmares again. Am i supposed to hate you/ get angry over your text? Cause honestly i don't feel a least bit of anger/hate.

And my throat feels like it just got strangled. Fmwl.

Jolvest: Sister, i got frighten by your blog skin. i thought it was a ghost~
Hahah, not that bad lah right anot!
miki:): lotsa better guys out thr. u r crying but does he care? ucandoitalright:) have faith in urself
miki:): dun cry over split milk girl. not worth ur time at all.. i had a worst incident thn u,i stillmadeit
Thank you sweetie :) I know, thankyou for the encouragement. I'll be able to do it soon !
charlotte: lol what thing you're real?
Your blog post la dumbdumb, hahah!
Xiufanggg: Relink me www.xiufangkickyourb-alls.blogspot.com
Relinked :)
Chanel Amanda: Lol, glad to hear you're over him. Anyway, we must play L4D2 again one day yeah! <: >
Hahah, yeah! :D
Sarahh,: Hiiiiiiiii ! Don't emoemoemo :( Can bomb my ears one !!
Hahah, don't worry bout me love. I'll be fine :)
Louis <3>: i always thought that the photo at the top is you LOL :D TAGGED
Lol, you think too much.
Vivi Vivian ♥: http://www.wordsthatfellapart.blogspot.com/
Vivi Vivian ♥: Ps, forget ask you relink. LOL. :)
Lol, boxim. :( Hahah, okay. Relinked. :)

A: Hi pretty take care =D
Stupid lokie. Lolol.

Psb: Where do you edit your photos from ?
Picnik.com :)

Passerby.: You make meaningful sentences and words :)
Hahah, nah.

QIANYU:}: heyheyheyhey, dont worry, take one step at a time ! ;D you need time girl, ! :}
Heh, okay :D

2010-01-01T06:00:00.002+08:00

Lyrics
I was so lonely on my own
Then you came in my life
Asking to be my wife
I didn't answer when you propo-oo-wosed
Instead I started to cry
And now you're asking me why
Well since you asked me to share
I think that it's only fair
That I tell you how I'm feeling right now

When you're here
The blood vessels in my head start to pound
When you're here
It's hard for me to keep my dinner down
When you're here
The clothes you choose to wear
That are too tight for your huge behind
Make me wish I were blind

Can't stand you

I've never been this nauseous before
I keep a baggie in case
I happen to see your face
And the stench you left is stuck in my flo-oo-wore
In case you didn't know
Perfume won't cover B.O.
When you walk away
The whole house begins to shake
Can you see how much you disgust me now-ow-how-oo wow-ow

When you're here
I fantasize I'm in another place
When you're here
Like hurtling towards the sun in outer space
When you're here the thought of spending life
Forever with you as my bride
Bring thoughts of suicide

Can't Stand You

Not sure I can recover
Seeing you uncovered
Made me disturbed, yeah-ah-ah-ah
I would rather hook up with an angry shark
Walk through Compton with a white hood in the dark
Before I'd marry you I'd go hunting with Dick Cheney, yeah

When you're here
Faces I would rather date appear
When you're here
Like Janet Reno, Rosie, or Britney Spears
When you're here
The thought of seeing you
Come downstairs in you lingerie
Make me want to turn gay

(Y)(Y) HAHAHA. Kenneth gave me the link to the vid. Hilarious.

(Actually now is 9.44PM , not 6AM! Hehex)
And i'm like gonna be a posting freak again, omfg.

Maybe it's the way I get nervous when you're around.

2009-12-29T15:10:00.006+08:00

Emotional rantings
So well, fuck it if you don't wanna read this.

“At least i've still got you”
That's what i wish i could say.

Yes, i thought i'd gotten over you. For 2 days. 2 fucking days. And then that dream has to surface when i'm sleeping. Honestly, i don't know what's holding me back from letting you go completely. Yes, i might've gotten over you 1/4. Or maybe half? I don't know. At least i don't cry ~~as much~~ for you like i did previously. Yeah, you've moved on. The world is moving on. So why can't i? Seriously, i'm going crazy with your thoughts. Subconsciously i'm thinking of you. And today, something made me go all blur. I know what you guys were mouthing, the words, but i caught no ballz. My mind was totally blank. Okay, well. Maybe not totally blank, cause i was trying to process the sentences you all said to me, and well, partly the other stuff that made my mind go pop. I don't know what's my whole point of writing/typing here anyway. I just needed an "out" like, idk, emotional ranting?

_____

Okay, uhm. Please like ignore everything above.

After l4d2-ing with Amanda and Charlotte, sat there and used the internet til like 11.30pm then i cabbed jason and charlotte back before heading to downtown to meet Wilbert, Aloy and Seewei. Waited for them like, soo long :O

Then, walked to whitesands to meet Fadong, Andy, Dean and Jonathan. Don't really remember what we did? But just sat at Pasir ris park until around 5plus am? I guess, don't remember. Hahah :D Then went macs to wait for Fadong, Dean and Jonathan to fetch Eunice home. They came back already, sat there until like 8.30am before we headed off. Tamp inter, T1. And blah. Don't wish to elaborate. But went home around 1plus pm?

Now i'm here, my comp's fixed, like finally. I'm not really tired, i'm kinda uber worried. Sighzxzx.

I'm feeling a lil woozy. Didn't eat since from like last night. I'm sucha weakling, tsk.

Laser: Your fringe is bangz or side bangz?
Hmmm,
it's slanted? :O
loyalreader: hoho, you fell down? why need bandage your arm?
is it serious? O-O take care of yourself heh. ^^
Hahah, yeah. I fell down during xmas eve. Nah, it's not very serious. It's just that a big part of my skin tore. Hahah, thanks love. I will :)

Vivi Vivian ♥: Hey Babe. :)
Hey :) You deleted your blog?

AMANDAL.: y'know already right? Yeah well, screw love (:
AMANDAL.: Haha, yeah I know. Oh well, pretty okay already. Me, C & J are gonna remain as friends, I'm sure
Yeah, i know already my dear :) Yupz, screw love.
Jolvest: Funny sia the teletubies.
Watch more then :)

God: No friend you , Trash you in wii C:
Roflmao.

Until the judgement day.

2009-12-28T17:57:00.004+08:00

Hey loves. :)
Yesterday evening met up with Charlotte, and then headed to Jeston's house. Ate and then played wii. That bitch was so happy because he trashed me (boxing)!! :( Such an ass, right?!

Haha, cabbed to charlotte's house afterwards. Her stomach was a black hole last night, she ate so much yet she wasn't full at all. Shocking? She even went to cook to fill her stomach -.- Alamak. Fell asleep rather early last night and woke up in the afternoon.
I dreamt of you last night again. 11 dreams of you since 14december.
Rotted like hell and i fell asleep sooo many times. So finally came back home & she headed to Jason's.

Plans for later,
Plan 1: Meet Charlotte, Jason, the rest, play l4d2 then go kovan meet Wilbert & friends.
Plan 2: Stay home then go kovan meet Wilbert the rest.
Plan 3: Stay home and rot.

Hahah, we'll see how it turns out shall we? :)

***

Hahaha okay i stuck with plan 1 :D Currently am at lan, evolution. At dhoby ghaut. With Charlotte and Amanda right naoz. Jason and Kenny are at parklane playing dotA. Melvin went to pick up Donovan. Just finished a game of l4d2, hahaha.

Later, might go pasir ris find Birdbird Aloy and idk who? Aiyo ..

Arm's currently bandaged due to the pain :( And i lost one of my clip for the bandage -.- alamak. Hahah okay shall stop naoz. XXXX

It never would've gone away.

2009-12-27T13:36:00.002+08:00

Well, yesterday went Bugis street to shop for my shoes and accessories. Didn't really see any clothes that caught my eye. Well, maybe one or two. But no trying + it's obviously too big for me. And a denim jacket, chio. But i lost sight of it. :(

Went to eat dinner, not much eaten actually. Only ate a few mouths, too fullllll. Then trained to pasir ris, waited for Fadong, Andy and Eunice for almost an hour at downtown. Met up with Randy and Amos and went rprp. Cabbed back before 12am, so no midnight charges :b

Now, waiting for charlotte to text me. Hmmmm...

Sorrysorry - Super Junior, Teletubbies version! :O

Ring ding dong - SHINee , official vid.

Ring ding dong - SHINee , teletubbies verson! :O

Super Junior H - Cooking cooking (CUTE!)

The stupid factory where boys are made.

2009-12-26T14:27:00.002+08:00

Hi babies! I'm currently posting from my mom's lappy.

Updateupdate!
Okay, so yesterday evening, went town with Mel, my sister, and Jerome. Lucky plaza for perfumes, then cineleisure e2max for l4d2 til 9.30pm!! Hahaha, like watching movie, got popcorn to munch on when i die :B

But :( thing isssss... My heels!! It hurt my feet so much that for most of the day i've been complaining so much. Alamakz. :(
Kkkkkz, went 313 to walkwalk with my sister for awhile. Wanted to check newlook but then couldn't find. *^")$^)*$, roflmao. Bussed home, and then tv til 2am before Zzz-ing!

And today, fufufufu. I am going shoppingzxzxzx \m/
Soon actually. But it's pouring now. >:
And claire, kengyun and dionne passed by my house about 30mins ago. They passed me my xmas prezzies when i don't even have any for them :/ kind souls. LOL. but anyway, the presents made me smile. Thanks girls!! :)

He ate my heart then he ate my brain.

2009-12-25T05:55:00.004+08:00

First pict: My sister, me, mel and mark.

Second: Me and Waldina, about like, 2 nights ago?

First pict: My sis and I,

Second pict: Mel and I.

First pict: Waldina and I, about 2 nights ago ?

Second pic: Lolol, zilian lah.

Wellllllll. Had a change of plans for the night. After dining at Mel's place, cabbed to boat quay with Mel, Jerome (her boyfriend) and my sister. Met up with Mark, Stanley and Stanley's girlfriend. Went whiskey bar(?) to drink, had a major headache and rested for awhile, before heading to another pub to drink? But, alamak. My whole night wasted. Major headache = sleep. So i actually slept at the pub for about an hour -.- -.- -.-

Cabbed back to Mel's place, feet sore from the heels i was wearing. And my elbows, wrist, knee, palm and feet and legs are PAINFULLLL. Infact, my whole body's aching to no end, and that sucks :(

What a christmas.

Anyway, sorry to charlotte the rest for not meeting you girlies up! :/

Lastly, Merry Christmas, since it's already the 25th now! :)

Hi bitches, merry christmas in advance!

2009-12-24T19:22:00.002+08:00

Hi bitchies, i'm currently at my cousin's place! :)
Last night headed over to charlotte's. hehe.

my comp's spoilt. so not much updates!
i just fell downnnnn. elbows both, and knee scarred, palm bled, wrist scratched, lil finger bled toooooooooooo.

hahahaha. well. one good news for everyone that cares: I've finally gotten over him! Isn't that a complete gr8 news?! hehehehe. okay i'ma gonna dine nowwwww bye lovelies (L)
P/S: I'm meeting charlotte amanda the rest laterrrrr! XXXX

je veux votre amour, je ne veux pas être des amis

2009-12-22T19:27:00.002+08:00

I don't know why i'm posting again. I'm seriously bored to my bones. Currently am at Aaron's crib with Bryan. Yongci's coming soon. Might be meeting Waldina and Birdbird (and friend? dontknow) @ Kovan ltr on. Birdbird wants to meet at 2plus ._. hmm. Makes me wonder how to go there. I've only got 18bux with me right naoz, and 10bux i need to topup ezlink :( diediediez.

vous savez seulement me dire de ne pas penser trop. vous me dites des choses je vous a dit qu'avant, mais vous pensez que je peux vraiment passer, vous oubliez, pour ne pas penser trop, ne pas verser des larmes pour vous ? comment est-ce que je peux vous oublier avec tellement des mémoires me renverse ? il aurait été plus facile que vous ne m'aimiez pas, parce qu'il n'y a pas beaucoup des mémoires à considérer. pourquoi est-ce que je ne peux pas juste vous récupérer une fois de plus ? je sais que je suis un ennui de cette façon, mais je sérieusement ne peux pas l'aider. je vous manque tellement. je ne veux pas être des amis encore, je veux vous aimer et obtenir votre amour en échange. toutes les fois que je vois des programmes télévisés, ou vois des couples, je vous veux juste là. pour jouer des choses idiotes avec moi, dites la substance idiote pour me faire le rire. est-il vraiment partout ? un amour perdu ne revient jamais, mais il reste des amours qui sont revenus. ainsi pourquoi ne pouvez-vous pas revenir ? je vous manque bébé.

quelque chose à quelqu'un d'autre

2009-12-22T13:08:00.003+08:00

It's so heartwarming to know that people cares. I will be happy still, but it still takes time before i can forget him completely.

Qianyu was right, a new name doesn't give me a new identity, cause inside i'm still the same person. Isn't it my dear? :)

Well, I'm going to be truly happy, manage and organise my life. Yeah, i'm gonna do that!

Heard you know jap, here's for you to read, and if you understand. Please explain tyvm :)
This is for you guys. It's how disappointed i am with you. Maybe i doesn't have the rights anymore. But still ..

私は貴方達から漂っている。私は、私がなぜあるがか知らない。貴方達はほとんど私にもう尋ねない。ジョナサンおよび私が分割したのでか。 fdが新しい中心キャンデーを食べるのでか。実際にちょうどもう8第に電話をかけることはその困難であるか。あなたの電話がお金を備えていないが、事があなたの家の電話、権利を通して、連絡するそれらにあることを言うか。そしていつ私言ったり、追随的に連絡できないか。彼女は彼女が目覚めるために呼ばれて無差別に送信することを私に言った。何か。何でもとするために得られるそれがある何が。多分、貴方達は私に既に疲れている、多分貴方達好まない私を。私は知らないが、私が言いたいと思うすべてはあなたで私失望するである。

I missed you and things weren't the same.

2009-12-21T10:19:00.006+08:00

Went to sleep fairly early last night. I coughed a hell load during the night.. I woke around 1plus , checked my phone, blardy load of texts and 2 missed calls from lotte'. I skimmed through, still, don't have your name. Who gives, right :>

"Just stop pondering and you'll be fine after a period of time ! Trust me ."
"Yeah , decreasing .. I don't want you to think of me anymore . Or rather , i don't want you to think of our relationship anymore ."
"I've never liked you . Thought you have a new identity ? A new identity means to have a whole new start , a new you . So , you must get over it ."

Thanks for the memories. Idk how the new me would turn out, but just so you know. I can't totally have a new identity and move on without a brainwash .

/
:): Just get over him asap, he dont worth a single tears of your's. Wanted tell you long ago to just fking leave him but dont have the courage to cause I have a feeling you wont believe. He is just a fking jerk for all you know. He have been contacting other girls when he was with you. My dear girl stop cutting yourself, you will regret one day. I did that before and I really regret because I know my friends wont feel good about it and nonetheless my own parents. Would you want them to be worried for you? I doubt so, so please stop the knife cutting. You would just make ppl feel that you just want

Yeah, I'll get over him asap, thanks :) Hmm, how long ago was that? Yeah, i know he's been contacting other girls when he's with me. I know that, but how you know? I'm pretty sure you're someone that both me and him know. Hahah, i'm not cutting myself anymore, so don't worry :) and , how did you manage to type so long on my tagboard !! omg ._. Anyway, add me up on msn or something. Cause i'm really curious who're you !! :b

_______________________________________________

:): okae, good to hear that you are not cutting yourself anymore. I think I will remain as :) cause I wouldnt want to reveal myself. I think it was longer. As in I said you wouldnt want to be lying on hospital bed having to take blood test everymorning and night. I have made a mistake before and would love to live life happy for now. And understand wholeheartedly how you felt when cutting yourself, its damn relief. You are still young, try to love yourself for who you are. If you couldnt stop thinking about him, I believe you have your fun bunch of friends, just stick with them. To me friends is a

Lolol i'm like replying on my post again cause it's so long and kinda hard to reply!! Oh, i respect your decision to stay as :) but i'm still really as curious :/ But do you know me/him in like, real life? O.O Well, thanks for telling me that, :) of course i wouldn't want to be on a hospital bed having blood tests every night and day. Hmm, it's like, the ones i usually hang with is with him. So yeah. But it's kind of like i've drifted from them and stuff? Yeah, but thanks. Your sentence got cut off again :O LOL.

2009-12-20T20:45:00.002+08:00

Can you hear my heart breaking into pieces, bit by bit? Stitches that you used to stitch my heart, slowly cutting themselves off? The breaking of veins, heart stops beating, i stop breathing.

I can still hear it break, chip off and die..

Lost sight, couldn't see.

2009-12-20T07:18:00.007+08:00

(YOU): eh , take good care can ? haiyo , stop falling down ! (:
I wish you would be here to tell me that again.
Gotta pick myself up where do i start cause i can't turn to you when it all falls apart

i still miss you, your love, your touch, your embrace, your kiss, your 'wishing-stick' belief, your silly jokes, the way you watch me when i want to sleep, the way you pat my head when i try to sleep, the way we held hands and you changed cause you said "if your hand infront means you must takecare of me leh. i should be the one taking care of you!" and then switches hands, the way you let me put my head on your shoulders/lap when i'm tired, the way you always let me eat your dinner @ your house because i was hungry (but you were starving), the way you said "wow", the way you always like to eat cheese and add cheese into the food before eating, the way you cook for me, the way you give me that puppy dog face, the way you cry. That's right, i miss it when you cry, cause when you cry, i know it's cause you're crying about me.
Arghz in short i miss you so much that i can't find words to express it all, but you do get what i mean don'tchu. except its like worse than how you were feeling before, like much worse..

tell me i'm worth all that trouble, tell me again , please ..

2 parts of your past blogposts ..

can you please treat me the way you treated me initially ?
why are you like
that ):
i love you

what is love ?
why is there such thing as
love in this world ?
why must love be so cruel at times yet makes individual
happy at times ?
what the hell is love for ?
how to love a person so
that he/she won't leave you ?
fuck love .
fuck it man .
loving the
one you love is a sin ? no it isn't ?
what makes you so sure i won't talk
what i talk ?
i just want you , i want to love the one i love .
i want
the one i love to be happy , i want to care for the one i love .
i want to
be there for the one i love , is this all fucking wong ?
am i really wrong ?
ahhhhhh , fuck it la .
no matter what the hell love wants la , i will
wait for you .
i'm missing you like there's no tmr ....

Now, i wanna tell you the same thing. I love you xx

Pulled me up and tore me down.

2009-12-20T05:13:00.003+08:00

these are the emotions i felt today, seriously.

anyway, today was a bad day for me. i slept around 4plus in the morning and had to wake up around 10plus to accompany mom to go raffles place. quarreled, and after awhile i went home. around 5.30 met with amanda and kelvin, waited for charlotte, cabbed to town. went to collect tickets from vernis before heading to the basement to eat.

in the middle of eating, joanne came. then we bussed to vivo, met up with sky & friends, then waited forever for faris to come. then went wavehouse. one word for it: SUCKED.
most songs were zzz, and what's with the music stopping for long periods of time? zz, charlotte faris weijie and yongjun got bounced out for underage drinking,zz.

and i injured my, top part of the ankle. hurts like, i don't know? it hurts but bearable. cabbed back home after that. yeah, i'm tired. i don't wish to elaborate the whole day and it's suckyness..

Should've known you'd bring me heartache.

2009-12-18T23:59:00.000+08:00

HEHEHE I AM BACK BITCHIESSSSSSSSSSXX!!

Alright, although it's only about 2 more hours.. i'm feeling happy right naoz!!
Afternoon met my Joanne Josie Elizabeth Elisha mummy @ macs. Ate mcnuggets and chatted, then headed over to her house. And like, we were finding names for ourselves, like only me, her and charlotte has that name. And came up with Elisha. Got meaning one okay, like. Graceful and merciful !! Hehhhhhh. Then gave me a manicure, and insisted on red... so now my nails are like reddddd. Hahaha!!

Abit after doing my nails, we went to get ready and trained to Dhoby Ghaut to meet Amanda, Kelvin, Kenny and Ferozzzzz!! Like, omg. So long didn't see Kenny already!! But missed Charlotte, damn! He fucking got a new haircut. Hahaha :) Went, uhm. Arcade cuz Feroz wanted to play time crises 4? Something like that. Played daytona with Joanne and bishi bashi(?) with Joanne and Amanda. LOLLLLL, fucking joanne was the survivor lahhh, alamakz.

Okokokkkk, then Joanne got so fucking high because she got 2 bottles of water with just $1.80, like LOL can. Cause like the green tea was stuck at the bottom so when she pressed for a drink, it pushed down (Like ._. right!!) Lolzilla. Then went body shop, and i smelt like, flowers? While Amanda smelt like, uhm. Peppermint/Candy or something. :O and speaking of smelling and scent.. at the arcade, there was this guy that smelt sooo good that Joanne and Amanda just had to go and smell him!! Like zomgwtflol!!

Went off approximately 11.15pm, and while waiting for the train, we were obsessed with english translations into chinese, and Joanne's accent while speaking chinese. Like lol!! Tried to translate fuck. And it became like, "cha jing qu". And fuck you became "cha jing qu ni" like lol only, everyone was staring :( alright, bussed home with Joanne and here i ammmmmmm. Overall, i had a great day, thanks babes for making it enjoyable :)

And thanks to like,
AmandaL, for being caring, Joanne for being supportive, Sarah for listening to my craps!! LOL.

A new name gives me a new identity, i feel like someone new. Maybe that's what i need to be, although memories flashes, and i reminisce, but i don't feel so upset anymore. (L)
So well, thanks Joanne for this random idea. Hehehehehe. YOU ARE MINE TMR HORRRRR!!
So anyway. If you guys see "EMILIAELISHAJOSIE" on your tagboards, know it's me and dont ask me who the fuck i am! HAHAHA.

God, i hope he and JJEENSH will be okay. And JJEENSH with the rest of A's.. :/
And cha jing qu my phone laaaaa, fucking dont wanto connect to the comp.. >:(

Sheeeeeeeesh, okay i shall go and continue trying to plug my phone into my comp! BYE READERS. And thanks everyone for their encouraging comments, do love all of you. XXXX!! I'm fine, and even when i'm not, I'll be fine sooooon. :)

It's automatic when you say things get better, but they never.

2009-12-18T08:38:00.007+08:00

I wrote you a four page letter today that said everything that i've wanted to tell you.

I don't have the guts to give it to you because I don't think you care anymore.

I guess nothing's ever gonna be the same between us, hmm? It's alright i guess, and i hope, since i won't bother, irritate you or whatsoever anymore ^.^

Well, for the amount of tears i've shed the past two days, really drained me out, making me sleep early, hence waking up super early with nothing much to do.

But still, thanks to Sarah, for listening to my craps for more than 3hours (i think?) yesterday. I'm so sorry to bomb your ears (ok well, eyes. since we were smsing)!! We're both in similar situations, but we'll stay strong through all these, won't we? :) My dear girl, if you've anything at all, tell me alright. Do love you. Xx

And then it's Charlotte. Well, babe. We both know how each other feels, except you're not the one who's crying almost every second. I seriously do hope the both of you will be fine, and get through this, as always. I love you the most, and you know that, don't you? :) Xxx.

Next, AmandaL for giving advices, although they're easier said than done *laughs.
Then, it's Mummy (like, my real life blood mum), thanks mum, so much, for cuddling me when i'm crying like bucketloads, hearing me out, giving me advices, and almost getting late for work! :x

Thanks to these people who were there when i was down. Xxx!
And, Jeston, for like, trying to keep me happy and smiling when i'm so down on msn! Plus Passerby and Anon on my tagboard! :) Much loves yeah.

Actually, it's like, thanks to whoever who actually heard and saw my rantings and gave me advice and such. Yknw, usuals. :) This little action just makes me happier. Hahahaha :)

There's no reason for me to be moping around, reminiscing, when i should be out there with friends, having a gr8 time. Yeah, i'm gonna be happy! although i'll still miss you skunkloads, and maybe get sad for a few times, but i'm still gonna be happy as much as i can! :)
That's more or less what i'm gonna post about yeah, until further notice people, XOXOX!

Angel in the night.

2009-12-17T07:38:00.002+08:00

~~Created a whole new blog, kept the old one for memories. Under construction. Please wait.~~
Alright, done with everything. Yesterday and today's been a bad day, honestly speaking.

Day before yesterday, was drinking with Eunice, Fadong and Jonathan. Like, things happened. Cabbed over to Charlotte's aftermath. Was at her house for a lil while before we both cabbed to Amanda's to drink with Jason and herself. Well, drink drank drunk, took care of Charlotte, cabbed her back before the time we were supposed to leave. Took care of her and shifted her to bed. Jason came over soon after, and left after he was sure Charlotte was okay.

Woke up the next day about 1pm? Went over to tmall with Charlotte and her dad, ate and headed to buy Charlotte's phone. Went home soonafter.

/
I just can't stand this, I can't stop crying, even while typing this, tears are just fucking starting to flow. I go to sleep crying, I wake up crying, and I can't even sleep to numb my pain cuz whenever I close my eyes, all i see is you. When i'm not crying, i'm just sitting there, being numb, unable to feel anything. And even when i totally manage to fall asleep, i can't sleep peacefully cuz dreams of you are haunting me. The first thing i thought of after waking up was you. The second thing i did was to reach out for my phone to see if there were any texts from you, but there's never any. Memories of you are flashing up constantly, no matter what someone says, one little word could trigger a truckload of memories. I can't stay at home and mope around because even my house holds memories of you. Your presence still lingers. I'm so afraid that you'll forget all about me. What am i going to do if you really do? There's so many things i wanna say, but can't find the words to express it, but in short, i miss you and everything. The texts you sent, i still have them in my phone. But in those texts, were promises. Where've they gone to?

You're the first person who rushed down from home to mine with a bottle of pokka milk tea just because i was feeling random and wanted to drink it. You're the first person who agreed to accompany me to watch the meteor shower, even though there wasn't anything. You're the first boyfriend that i brought home. You're the first friend and boyfriend that my mum saw smoking. You're the first guy that came to my house that many times. You're the first person who tongpang-ed me on his bicycle. You're the first person i typed so long for. You're the first person who ever made me feel like this. You're the first person that got so crazy for me before. You're the one whom i stayed awake for, one whole night, doing nothing, just to be able to meet you on time in the morning. You're the first to open up your feelings. You're the first guy who's not afraid to cry infront of me.

You're the one who was there, you're the only one that makes me happy, just by hearing the sound of your voice, you're the one who made me feel loved, you're the one who stays patient after all these while, you're the first i've ever loved so much. I just thought you'd be the one who's different from all the rest. I just wanted you to stay.
You're the first in so many firsts and you might just be the first one whom i can't forget for over a long time.
I've lost interest in so many things after you. I miss you, but you won't ever come back. So yeah, bye.

XXXX
you said you wouldn't hurt me if i were to be with you.
that's what everyone says, but i thought i could trust your words.
but true enough, you didn't hurt me. you left and a big part of me died.